Sashaying down the catwalk of life

blessings

2011-04-06T19:20:00.005+08:00

So today I was clerking my CP1 forms, and chatting to the patients as usual. Somehow I feel patients take to me very easily, I ask them for their previous medications and they can talk to me about everything under the sun! Which can be a bother sometimes when I'm trying to finish all the CP1s for all newly admitted patients, and I haven't really learnt the art of extricating myself from a conversation, and I feel like a rude person if I have to ask the person to stop talking.

But anyhow.

One patient I was interviewing was asking me if she could be discharged early, because she had a handicapped 44-year-old son at home and no one was looking after him when she was at the hospital. She said her husband was living in another house, and he wouldn't help out with the son when she was warded. She said he wouldn't even come to the hospital to visit her. Apparently he moved out soon after her son was born, and have been a 'long-distance' father ever since. She was worried that she may fall sick and no one will take care of the son (I remember her diagnosis was ACS) and she was even worrying about her son's fate after she passes away.

As she was talking, tears were falling from her eyes but I could see that she was trying to control them, as if trying to squeeze them back in to prevent them from falling in front of a stranger.

Looking at her, I realised that however much we may complain about our work and our life, there's always someone out there more unfortunate than us. Although we may think that our lives are not the best, we may still not realise that we are already very much blessed, compared to a major part of the population out there.

How many people can boast of a loving family, a healthy relationship with friends and coworkers, a good job that pays enough to cover our expenses and more, and a great life overall? Sure enough, there'll be people out there who earn more than us, careers that seem much more cushier and pays better than ours, families who never argue, and couples that always seem to be blissfully happy with each other. But how do we know that perhaps the executive out there who gets 10k per month will have to work 14 hours each day and deal with a whole lot more life-shortening stress, and perhaps get hypertension or diabetes much earlier than anyone? How do we know that the perfect girl next door who wears Chanel, slings a Coach from her elbow, and steps out in immaculate Jimmy Choos, is actually paying for her wardrobe through her teeth, and perhaps eats instant noodles for dinner every night? How do we know that the perfect husband and wife is in fact, screaming at each other in their soundproof 5th Avenue apartment and smashing their china at the wall every night?

Thing is, we don't know.

We say, 'I want to be happy', and we seek entertainment and pleasurable activities to give us a feeling of happiness. We shop for clothes and shoes and eat out at beautiful restaurants and buy gorgeous mansions because they make us feel 'happy'.

But what if happiness was just as simple as counting our blessings?

Instead of seeing our parents as traditional and restrictive, shouldn't we see the love that they're trying to give us by ensuring that we're safe all the time? Instead of bitching about work everyday, shouldn't we acknowledge that however shitty it may seem, it's a whole lot better than a lot more jobs out there and it pays the bills and covers our rent. Instead of complaining about how our partner does not compare to the 'perfect' boyfriend or husband who buys his wife Tiffany's every week, shouldn't we revel in the fact that our partner loves us unconditionally for who we are, and is probably saving up for a better future with us instead of frivolously frittering away his hard-earned money?

( that said, if my boyfriend were to buy me Tiffany's I would happily accept it. Bwahaha. =P )

But yeah, you get my point.

Or even sometimes, when everything seems to be going wrong and the sky is falling down, be happy for the fact that we were born normal, and were blessed to see this world in its glory...and besides, probably Chicken Little would warn us beforehand about the falling sky!

I love the fact that I have a great job that allows me to learn and work at the same time.

I love the fact that I have awesome parents who will always be there for me.

I love the fact that I have wonderful friends whom accept me for who I truly am.

I love the fact that I have a terrific boyfriend that I can share my life with.

Fact is,

I love my life.

And you probably should, too!

重色轻blog

2011-02-19T11:10:00.003+08:00

I'm getting tired of always apologising for my absence here, so for once, I shall not do it. Besides, I'm sure many will have probably given up on reading this since my last post of four months ago, eh?

It's not that I have nothing to say though, I just didn't feel comfortable sharing some of those stuff here publicly. The last few months have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. It feels weird to have someone else responsible for my feelings and emotions, but then I guess that's what happens when you're in love.

And yes, I did just say that.

So as officially of yesterday, my best friend and my boyfriend will be working in the same hospital, a.k.a. Penang General Hospital!

Sometimes I feel as if God is laughing at me, at us for this great joke he has been playing on us. I can just imagine the skies shudder as he rolls over and over with laughter, his great big belly rumbling with every laugh. Oh, the cheekiness of it all!

For the uninitiated, my boyfriend (it still amazes me every time I say this, but still) used to be a senior PRP in my hospital, which is how we met. He just got his new posting yesterday, which sent him as an FRP to my best friend's hospital in penang, of ALL the possible hospitals in Malaysia. How's that for a great fat joke?

(Wenchin, if you're reading this, do remember to look after him for me ya. and to tell me if he bullies you. hah!)

Yesterday when he left for Penang in the morning, I bawled my eyes out in my car as I was driving to the hospital for work. I know, not the best idea for a half-assed driver like me. And I'm pretty sure I scared some of the motorists passing by me as they saw a girl crying in a swerving car as they too swerved to avoid me.

I'm kidding. My car didn't swerve, I'm not suicidal. But the bawling part is real though.

And today as I found a sweet little note in my iphone from him, written yesterday before he left, I started crying again. le sigh, I've turned into a crybaby. 都是你害的！

Anyways.

So now I have to get used to Manjung without him. We've been practically glued together for the most part of my time here, so I expect it will take some getting used to, but it's not impossible. I kind of welcome the idea of spending time alone. I really need to catch up on my research and clinical reading as I'll be starting my ward rounds in early April, and I can't just walk in there with nil clinical knowledge in my brain! And I'm SO backlogged in my research too, but there's still sufficient time though. As I said, God really knows how to play a joke, but with perfect timing too.

As for the rest of my life, it's pretty good actually. Working life is hectic but fulfilling, in some ways. I've completed DIS, TDM, chemo, ward supply, and am now in my second month in OPD. I've done a continuous week of oncall. (in my hospital, PRPs are supposed to do active and passive calls for one continuous week. How's that for a challenge?) TDM was relaxing, chemo was good, I think I may have a talent for it even! And yesterday I drove alone from manjung to Ipoh. My driving skills are now sufficiently good enough that I was able to feel comfortable throughout the entire journey. I'm so going to drive alone more in the future, penang is beckoning me!

on work, again.

2010-10-26T18:02:00.003+08:00

Dear all, I think I will soon be reduced to posting here once a month. Working life is not exactly the most exciting thing to write about, as most of my friends have already started working or will be starting soon, and I don't want you guys to have to go to work eight hours a day and come home and read about work again, do I?

But, besides work, I really have not much else to say. Sigh.

Yesterday was my first time working on a night shift in outpatient. I certainly didn't get off to a great start, as I was supposed to work from 5-10pm. I overslept (afternoon nap of course, not from the night before!) and woke up at 4.45pm. Jumped up from my bed and jumped into the car, literally, and rushed to the hospital but still ended up being five minutes late. I'd set my alarm at 4 for me to eat and bathe so I didn't get to do any of that. (Eww, I know!)

Working at night is boring. Period. There was only me and one pembantu farmasi so there wasn't much conversation possible, and the prescriptions kept flowing in though it was already night. And most of the prescriptions are the same: PCM, syrups, antibiotics, the works. It didn't help that I had a throbbing headache from waking up too abruptly (yeah, it happens to me) and a growling stomach. Not a good night indeed...

And! I will be having my oncall a few weeks later. For some reason we got scheduled for oncalls earlier than the more 'senior' prps, and I have only been attached to opd and drug info so far, so I had to learn everything latest by this week. And of course, practise my driving skills at night, and practise driving while I'm groggy (assuming that I'll get called in the middle of the night). One week of sleep deprivation certainly does not sound fun, but thankfully our hospital has so many prps that we'll probably get a week of oncall in 3 months perhaps, which is wonderful!

Working life is growing on me. But I find myself gradually losing my hopes and dreams the longer I work. I want to keep my dreams alive, no matter what. I don't intend to become a cog in the wheel, churning out the expected results eight hours a day, five days a week. But sometimes I really don't know what I really want.

Actually, I do. I just want to be happy, and to make a difference. I just haven't figured out how to do that.

work, two weeks in.

2010-09-30T21:20:00.003+08:00

Dear all, it's been two weeks since I started my career as a pharmacist. How fast time goes by, a blink of the eye and I've been working for two weeks. Two weeks! I remember how awful I felt the first day at work, I didn't know anyone and didn't know what was expected of me, and what I was supposed to do. I started off with labelling, and then filling, and dispensing. Now I rotate between all three, depending on the number of prescriptions flowing in and the people available at that time.

Dispensing is still a challenge for me, I still can't remember the dose, frequency and indications of so many medicines, and I have to dispense with a BNF by my side. I am still slower than most of the other pharmacists but then again, I still have so much to learn. I think it will take a whole lot more time for me to feel completely at ease when a patient comes up to the counter.

I admit I'm much happier now compared to my first day as I have made so many wonderful new friends, who actually make the effort to include me in their activities. My housemate (technically my senior) described me as outgoing and likes to go out (hey it kinda rhymes!), which I thought was the exact opposite of what I used to be. I mean, I have been a homebody for the longest time and I still don't quite know what to say to strangers. But I am trying my best and it certainly feels great to have an awesome bunch of colleagues who really make all the difference. Especially those that blurt 'Uncle your cincin very cantik!' or 'Auntie your blouse is so pretty!' in the middle of dispensing, and the conversations which leave us dissolving in laughter in the OPD.

Life is good so far. I hope it stays that way for this one year.

I just want to be happy. =)

a new place, a new life

2010-09-18T17:17:00.002+08:00

Dear all, I have been posted to Hospital Seri Manjung, in Sitiawan, a small town very near Lumut and about 1.5 hours from Ipoh. I have just got the news on Friday, by which then I immediately rushed to JKN to report, so I'll be starting work on Monday. I think there was too little time for me to digest the information that I'll be starting a whole new chapter of my life in a whole new place, so much so that when it finally sank in, it felt terrible. I thought I have learnt to mute my heart towards such things, I don't think I have felt much even when I knew I was to enter the national service, or before leaving home for Glasgow. I would like to think it is just another normal part of life, at which I'm supposed to work, earn money, support and take care of myself, without all the people that I've been used to. I will be there without my parents, my best mates, and all will be new to me in that place. I want to think I'll be alright, and I thought I was strong enough. But somehow I still feel scared sometimes at the prospect. I am scared of the unknown, and I think a new job, a new place, and new people to deal with would make enough unknowns to make anyone scared. Ever since a long time, this is the first where I don't quite know what to expect, and I don't really know what to do.

You know how people sometimes ask, what would you save if your house were on fire? Well, bizarre as it sounds, I feel like what I'm about to face is just that, though neither my house nor my future hospital is on fire, hah! I feel like I'm losing everything that I'm familiar with, and yet again, it scares the shit out of me. I feel like clutching at whatever is left of the life that I'm used to, no matter how trivial it may be. For me, that would be the company of my parents and friends, the 7pm and 8.30 drama series I'm used to watching on the tv, the familiar smell of home-cooked food, and my cozy little room at home. All I'm bringing to my new residence would be two suitcases and a purse. I want to claw and struggle against change, I want to resist the change, but yet I know I can't stay the same forever. I can't be under the protective wings of my parents forever, I can't be used to the comforting presence of my current, wonderful friends forever. Things change, life changes. I know I should embrace it, but so much change in one go still leaves me so fearful that sometimes I feel I may have chosen the wrong career. I mean, if I was about to start work at something I love, I would feel excited about it, and not feel the cloud of impending doom above my head that I can't seem to shake off, won't I? I really don't know.

As said (very beautifully) by a friend, what's the worse that can happen? I may make mistakes at work, I may still drive horribly but really, whatever comes, the only option is to deal with it, and make sure it won't happen again the next time. Thankfully I still have two high school friends who are working in the same hospital, one of them was my best friend back in high school, who's working as a houseman at the exact same hospital. I hope we'll be able to revive our friendship, and I really, really hope that I'll be able to make friends that are equally as awesome as my current besties.

Right now, I'm nervous, scared, and somewhat sad. But I want to enjoy my life, I want to be happy. I really hope that, in time, I will be just that, fingers crossed. Wish me luck!

this is your life.

2010-09-09T14:27:00.003+08:00

After spending a few years away from home, I came home to realize that there was a recurring theme in my family - we tend to force ourselves to do many things that we didn't like, just because we SHOULD. Perhaps it's a common concept in traditional Chinese families, who tend to put anything and everything above themselves. Work comes first, making money comes first, children comes first, a large house, the perfect picket fence...you get my flow. I never felt this way before when I stayed at home but after I came back from my studies, I realized that my life at home had been quite suppressed. We would deny ourselves the most minute of things, just to save money or 'because we shouldn't do it.' The most common examples in my home is that we tend to NOT turn on the fan if we could, for the sake of saving electricity and money. Not that bad, you think? Well, certainly not the best idea in the blistering heat of Malaysia. Another thing is that my family has this notion that everyone should do everything together. For example, they used to drag me to the pool and badminton court, when I really really hated swimming and badminton. But when I was young I never even thought of rebelling, and went along on those swimming trips and forced myself to swim. (Don't ask me why I hate swimming so much. I'm just born with it I think.) Years after, I wonder to myself why couldn't I have just refused to go along, and saved myself all of that. But to be fair to them, some good came out of their efforts, I grew to love badminton after playing with them for so many years.

Another common trend in Asian people is that we tend to do something because it fits us in the 'acceptable' mould, be it of a good husband or wife, a filial son or daughter, or a responsible employee. I think the main difference between western and asian people is that the westerners embrace their individualities. They encourage their students and children to pursue their passion in life, regardless of whether it will be a profitable career in the future. They encourage their young people to embrace differences in personalities and characteristics, likes and dislikes, beliefs and goals in life. No goal is too trivial, no passion is too silly. A very real-life example is that people who dress differently are wholly accepted in the west. No one bats an eye if you walk down the street with a mohawk, or wear fishnet stockings with thigh-high boots. Try that here in Malaysia and people will probably think you're crazy. And most parents in Asian families would encourage, and sometimes force their kids to study something 'socially acceptable', preferably professional courses. That would perhaps explain why our population is overflowing with doctors, engineers, accountants, lawyers, and dare I mention it, pharmacists! How many a budding artist has been fully encouraged to pursue their true passion in life? My bet is that most parents would coerce the little Picasso to brush up on their maths or science, instead of spending his time drawing. Sometimes I wonder if it is due to an innate fear of 'losing face' that make parents force their kids to have, what they think is, a proper career, and let the parents be proud when stating in front of the relatives that 'Oh, my son is a doctor *cue for parent to smile and swell*' instead of saying 'Uh, my son is a starving painter *cue to drop head and sad frown*.'

Does that not sound sad to us? We do things for people to accept us as one of their own, for fear that we would be ostracised for doing something we really love. Are we really doing the right thing when we heed our parents and relatives' advice to become a doctor 'because people will look up to you and you will make lots of money', and hate our job with a vengeance all the while we're at it? Are we?

What I am just saying that if we realize that something that we've believed wholeheartedly in for our whole life is not quite right, we should at least try to make a difference in our life by changing for the better. And what is 'better'? I guess it is whatever that makes us happy that counts.

Life is too short to waste on doing things that are useless, or make us unhappy, as long as we don't harm others in the process. Isn't it?

something for all my friends...or maybe not ALL. =)

2010-09-07T15:29:00.003+08:00

☆戴爱玲对的人☆

你问在我心中是否还苦恼
那次受伤否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照我一切都好
一个人不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼

爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角

那次流过的泪让我学习到
如何祝福如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要是一种对照
能愿意为了一份爱
付出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较
当我想清楚的时候
我就算已经准备好
放手去爱海阔天高

I have been loving this song for the longest time. It's incredibly inspiring to all the single people out there!

updates, I'm not dead!

2010-09-03T11:56:00.004+08:00

Dear all, I'm sorry it has been months (longest hiatus ever!) since I posted. Mostly that stemmed from the fact that I've been doing very little besides rotting at home, and also partly because I just don't feel the urge to write about my boring, boring life without boring the rest of you. But anyway.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, which translates to birthday cake and free calls to maxis numbers! *wide grin* My mobile is registered under her name so I made full use of the privilege and called all my old friends one by one according to alphabetical order. It was great fun! In fact I'm just so incredibly happy that I got to talk to them after years of not meeting each other. I found out I was just in time to contact one friend, who was about to leave for the UK to study masters. Phew! caught her just in time. I also chatted with a few friends still in medical school and inwardly congratulating myself for not choosing that profession...ahahah don't hate me doctors! But I digress. Another friend has been posted to Sabah for her PRP year together with four other BPharmers, but she seems to be having fun despite the underlying terror that has been going around our batch about the prospect of being sent there. (buhbye brendan, siva, chunwai, kamarul and perhaps renly...you guys are going to be missed sorely!)

Penang road trip was a success! I've posted the photos on FB so I won't be posting them here. Jason very kindly lent us his Batu Feringghi apartment (which was gorgeous, by the way) and Wenchin, Weiluen and Jeannette brought us around the island for those three days. Penang hawker food lives up to its name indeed but in the end I ended up with food poisoning, dang the seafood! But I'll definitely be going back for seconds once my stomach has become more resilient! And the last day was hilarious. Most of us putty princesses were tired and washed out by the heat at the end and begged the tour guides to bring us to the mall for the day. The guides smiled and we happily went back to our cars and guess what? They brought us to the youth park instead....to see monkeys! The joke was on us in the end, I even spotted S hitting W on the head in the car in front of us when we almost reached the place. Classic!

And right before penang we had our second convocation. It's weird is it not, to have two graduation ceremonies for one degree, but still... =) I went for the sole purpose to meet my friends and have a good time, less so for the convo, but I was still happy being able to finally wear the mortarboard! For some reason the universities in the UK doesn't seem to like the mortarboard and we couldn't figure out why it was so. Then someone came up with the briliant idea that with the characteristic strong winds in Glasgow all the mortarboards would be flying around in the air instead of staying put on our heads! It totally makes sense doesn't it? Oh and an old friend came over to attend my convo, which made me very happy as we'd not seen each other for, oh I don't know, years? I totally did not expect him to drop by so that was one of the best surprises I had for a long time. =)

Oh, and hello Mr. DC! Thanks for stopping by. *even wider grin*

Till then!

xoxo

graduation, and emo-ness.

2010-07-06T05:42:00.000+08:00

Today, I have graduated.

I wish I could be one of those unbearably positive people who will say that leaving university is a fresh start to the rest of our lives, and they have high hopes for the future, and such. But I am not.

Instead, I feel an immense sadness. I am sad to leave the major part of my life behind, where I spent most, if not all, my time facing books and exams. I am sad to leave my dear, dear friends with whom I have built a strong bond in these past few years. Indeed I can say, the best friends of my life were made during university life. But then again, a lot of my life has yet to come so I cannot say that for sure…yet. I am also sad to leave the part of my life where I do not have to worry about money and putting food on the table. I feel a little terrified that the money I use in the future, will come from me and myself alone, and I will no longer be able to ask my parents for money should the whim to buy something new and shiny comes along. I will have to carve out portions of my salary and spend it with care, and will also have to scrimp and save a certain amount of money every month to prepare for rainy days (ie. angpau money for friends’ weddings!). I feel sad to leave this place, the place where I spent the busiest yet happiest year of my life. Strangely I feel sad to bid farewell to the gloomy weather in Glasgow, because I enjoyed it so much! Glasgow was a welcome relief from the eternally sunny days in Malaysia, and I feel sorry to leave it behind. I really don’t see myself coming back here for the foreseeable future, and I feel all the more reluctant to leave this country.

My parents flew in to attend my graduation, and they will be leaving tomorrow. I am really happy to see my parents, after six months of talking to them on skype. Not seeing them for an extended time made me even the more aware of the fact that they are not getting any younger as the years go by. I almost forgot how nice it feels to be fussed over by them, and to be able to fuss over them. I am so glad that they did not heed my advice to NOT come to my graduation, because I felt so happy that they are here to share the moment with me. My dad was forever the social butterfly, he was making his way around the crowd of parents and making friends along the way. The most I can summon myself to do is to nod and smile at strangers. I am not cut out to become a PR personnel after all.

Besides feeling sad, I also feel emptiness. An emptiness that stems from my indecisiveness as to where to head after graduating and what to do with the rest of my life. I do not intend to stop studying at this point but I am unsure where to proceed after this degree. Masters of Pharmacy is the obvious choice in our case, but I do not feel an inclination strong enough to sustain me through another two years of studying something that I feel for only half-heartedly. I thought about studying fashion or interior design, my original options in high school, but where would that lead me? Carving my way in the fashion world is no mean feat and I really do not think that I am well suited to that world of air-kisses and frivolity. Another obvious option`is, well, to get married and have kids and take care of them for the rest of my life but that doesn’t seem too appealing for now. I mean I know that will come sooner or later but it isn’t really a good plan to fall back on now is it?

Emoness aside, there is still cause for celebration!

Pic: the mob of paparazzi consisting of parents!

Pic: housemates!

Alright. Despite what I have just said, I really am happy that this day finally came, and it was made even better to be able to share it with my beloved family and friends. Amen. =)

Prague, and friends.

2010-07-02T19:45:00.011+08:00

I'm back! As a matter of fact I have been back for quite a while, just that I have not gotten around to write a proper post. And yes, that was me complaining about Easyjet in my last post. Apparently we were not the only ones who got on the wrong end of Easyjet, another friend was stranded in Milan after her flight was cancelled. I'm not really sure about the details but that only further confirms our resolution to never fly with them again!

An update on my whereabouts: the week before the last we came back from our 16-day trip around eastern and central Europe, and Switzerland; and last weekend me and a couple of close friends went on a three-day tour to isle of Skye. There is something peculiar about travelling: after some time you kind of get used to waking up in a different dorm room each morning, and all the buildings and sceneries get sort of muddled up and start to look like each other! I am still a fan of backpacking nevertheless, just that I'll have to remind myself to bring much, much less stuff on my next trip, goodness knows when will that be.

*On an unrelated note, I am writing this post while watching (or, listening) to the Wimbledon men's semi-finals on the BBC website, so do forgive me if my words seem a little nonsensical at times. I am all for Andy Murray but somehow I just have the feeling that Nadal is going to win in the end. Ah well...*

First off, my long-ish trip to Europe and the Swiss. I think I have spent too much time in cold and gloomy Glasgow so much so that I have gotten used to NOT having the sun and warmth around! Prague, Budapest and Vienna to a certain degree were warm and very sunny indeed. I can't honestly say I've had a good time in those places particularly Prague and Budapest as most of the time I was busy running away from the sun and searching for shady spots.

Janice and You Mai, our INTEC friends, were kind enough to show us around Prague as they were studying there. It was more of like a catching-up session with old friends than a tourist-y visit to Prague but I loved it all the more. I haven't met them in a long time and it was just so great to finally able to chat with them. As for Prague the city, there wasn't an awful lot to see and do so we spent a lot of time chilling out, which was perhaps the better option as we would have melted to a puddle had we spent the whole day out in the sun!

Pic: Prague astronomical clock

The astronomical clock in the old town square of Prague is supposed to be one of the most overrated tourist spots, but it was amazing in its own way all the same. It can tell the time, day, zodiac sign and even tells you if it's daytime or night time (not that we need it to, anyway!). At the strike of every hour, there is a parade of the apostles and a skeleton at the side will pull the bell to signify the hour. Hordes of tourists will congregate in front of the clock 15 minutes before it strikes and so did we, and it did what it was supposed to, but I guess we have seen our fair share of amazing stuff and were thus kind of blase at this point... When the chiming stopped, all I could think of was, okay, what's next?

Pic: Kolkovna restaurant - lunch, day 1

They brought us to this restaurant for lunch and it didn't seem to be teeming with tourists, which was a pleasant change indeed! Irene and I shared a dish and it was delicious! Unfortunately I can't remember the name of the dish, I think it was duck and...pigeon? I don't know.

Pic: the dish consisting of duck and pigeon (?) and sour cabbage and potato dumplings. Yum!

Pics: shots taken around the Prague castle.

We went back to the old town square at night for the night view, and it was just as well that we did. There were fireworks in front of the Prague castle which could be seen across the river and I got this picture. Nice.

On the second day we followed the Sandeman's tour around the city but we ditched it in the middle as we had a tip-off about a sushi buffet for only about the equivalent of 10 pounds. It turned out to be a buffet indeed but with less sushi and more of other stuff. Nevertheless I stuffed myself crazy and had a great time. Food always does the trick for me!

After that we separated into two groups as the lazy ones (me included) wanted to shop around for a little while and wait for the sun to set before we went on our way, and others who didn't mind being baked alive by the sun and wanted to continue doing the tourist thing. I can't say I regretted my decision as I would perhaps have gotten a sunstroke had I stayed out any longer.

Pic: I think this was something like an opera house...

Pics: on the Charles bridge.

We spent our night in a bus travelling to Budapest to save some money, so in the next stop you will see us with tired looks and sticky hair. Stay tuned.

EASY rant

2010-06-23T05:43:00.003+08:00

Dear all, I am finally back from my 16-day Eastern and central Europe trip! I know I haven't updated on my previous Dublin trip but there is so much to talk about especially now that I have the additional long trip to tell you. But before I launch into a very long post about that there was something interesting that we came across on the last day of our trip. I probably can make this quite long-winded, so perhaps you would like to boil some water and sit back with a nice cup of coffee while you read the rest of this post.

And as many stories would say, once upon a time...

Once upon a time five girl friends were returning home from a long backpacking trip. Being the frugal students that they were, they decided to book a flight with a low-cost airline, thinking that it would be much EASIER on their wallets. True to its name, it was indeed EASY on the wallets but the JET service was less easy on them. They arrived at Geneva airport only to realise that their flight at 7.30am was delayed to four hours later, to 11.30am. Fine enough, so they waited patiently at the airport while enjoying their breakfast redeemed with the 10-franc voucher provided. At 11.30am, they boarded the plane, fine and dandy.

But after 30 minutes, they realised something was wrong. The plane was not moving! Then the pilot announced that a passenger had checked in a piece of luggage but the person was not on board the plane. So the stranded piece of luggage had to be searched and retrieved from the aircraft hold. Fair enough, who knows if it may contain explosives then suddenly KABOOM! and all passengers on board would become fine particles floating in the air. But the delay on this flight made the five friends a little worried as their next connecting flight was at 1.50pm. Not really enough time but perhaps they could still make it if they ran all the way to their next flight.

Not good. When they got to the security checkpoint it was already 1.35pm. Actually the first person of the group made it to there at that time as all were separated at that point. The first person of the group ran all the way, barely made it on board the connecting flight, also one that was EASY to JET around with. But the second person reached the gate it was 1.40pm. The staff at the gate told her straight out: "You missed the flight." with a stern stare. (The plane was still on the ground at this point.) Needless to say, the third, fourth, and fifth person also did not get on the flight. The third person tried to explain to the stern-looking staff that they were late because of the delay in the first EASY flight, but to no avail. He would not listen and repeatedly told them, in a cold and unhelpful manner, to go the the sales desk outside. So there.

Then, the remaining four friends went to the EASY-to-find sales desk (actually it was the exact opposite) with the help of some helpful and other not-so-helpful staff. They were informed that to get on the next flight, they had to pay a 'rescue fee' of 43 pounds. They tried explaining that they missed the flight because of a delay in the previous flight of the same company and it was certainly not their fault that they did not get on the plane. No chance. Angry and disappointed, they were prepared to hand over the 43 pounds to get back home, when another staff member from the EASY plane company, heard their story and said that it was alright to provide them with free replacement flights back home. Yay! so in the end they put away the 43 pounds and happily got on the next flight back home, 8 hours later.

Okay, so this is the very long-winded story which happened to us, and can probably be summed up in a few words: because of the delay in our flight from Geneva to London, we missed the connecting flight from London to Glasgow. It wasn't our fault but the service and attitude of the people we met were awful. Several times we were told that we had to be at the departure gate 30 minutes before time but it was impossible! Previous problems with the same company (delays, cancelled flights) and this really bad experience made us really disheartened and vowed never to fly with the company ever again.

Anyways that is the end of my grandmother's story. Sorry to have made you sit through it all, but hey, what needed to be said had to be said! I hope I will be able to write about my travels in the next few days but no promises, as I will be heading to the isle of skye on friday for three days, and I'm sharing my current internet connection with friends. Fingers crossed.

Ireland - Belfast

2010-06-02T06:35:00.007+08:00

Dear all, I have been packing up my bags in a frenzy these past few days. I never realised one year of living in Glasgow could make me accumulate so much junk. I will be selling some of those soon, and everything else will have to fit into my two luggage trunks, and two more of my parents'. Which brings me to my next point: wouldn't it be awesome if everything I owned could fit into one trunk, or even better, one backpack? Wouldn't it be fantastic and SO convenient if I could just up and go, not having to worry about what to keep and what to take. I have toyed with the idea of minimalism (as stated in a previous post) but I realised I could never take it to the extreme - I love pretty clothes just like any other girl, and really they do make me happy. I know it's shallow but then again I reckon what's so good if I chose to adopt a lifestyle that I'm unhappy with? I would much rather minimise other areas of my life - I could do with less shoes and bags, and I don't feel the need to accumulate books. So if you took a peek into my two large luggage bags you would only find mounds and mounds of clothes. I'm only bringing back two pairs of shoes (downsized from over 10 pairs - no mean feat is it not?) and two bags (reduced from about 6 or 7).

Anyways, since I'll be pretty busy with prom and then my subsequent trip, I suppose I'll have to blog about Ireland now. Besides, I lose the urge to blog about my travels the longer I postpone them, and the memories fade before I can write them down.

We took a bus tour in Belfast to the Giants' Causeway the first day we were there. It cost about 20 euros and it took us to other places as well, like those little villages en route to the causeway and the suspended bridge. It was my first time on a tour where the bus driver doubled as the tour guide - it was scary at first because silly me was terrified that he would lose control of the bus as he was talking non-stop, and he was driving kinda fast, but he turned out to be extremely experienced and there wasn't really anything to worry about.

We stayed at Lagan's Backpackers, a quaint hostel with the quirkiest owner you'd have ever seen! He was funny and chirpy all the time, and he whipped up breakfast for all the backpackers staying there, every morning. And that's me looking happy with my full english.

I can't really remember what was the name of this castle. All I could remember was that we were only allowed about 10 minutes to enjoy it, or else.....!

And then, THE Giants' Causeway!

We had dinner at a local pub, and ordered the 'heart attack on a plate'. Why was it called such? This dish consists of fried and fatty food, and obviously that was not its name on the menu. But it is delicious nevertheless and should be tried at least once (or rather, once at the most!) when you visit Ireland.

Greece part 2

2010-05-29T21:50:00.012+08:00

Day 3 and onwards.

There's a little town called Imerovigli near Fira which came highly recommended by friends, so we thought we'd make a wee detour there and see what it's all about. Turns out the village consists of mostly tourist hotels built on cliffs and little else to do (or so we thought!). However the landscaping of the village was spectacular with the whitewashed buildings scattered on the cliffs and lovely villas with balconies overlooking the Aegean sea. We sneaked into the hotel areas for the view, and managed to take a few photos before getting chased off the property. Haha!

Oya is another must-go in Santorini. It is said to have the best view and people flock to it to see the sunset everyday. I thought it did live up to its expectations indeed, and the sunset view was surreal. It would have made a perfect place for couples to spend a romantic evening. Tip: do go early to get a good spot for the sunset as the place can get very packed very soon. Perhaps about half an hour early would be sufficient.

The next day we took a local boat tour to the nearby volcanic islands. We stopped at an island with volcano craters, a hot springs area at which the people had to jump off the boat and swim a distance to reach the springs. I didn't jump - I didn't bring my swimsuit with me that day, a decision which I kinda regret. However they were only allowed half an hour to swim to the springs and back, which was not really enough time to fully enjoy the place, but anyway.

We met a Malaysian girl unexpectedly on the boat trip, Wanxing - Su Mei's high school friend who was studying in Finland. She told us she was on a one-month trip around the EU countries - - alone! Salute betul.

Day 5 - Mykonos

Mykonos is yet another Greek island with quite similar buildings and landscaping, albeit with much more tourists compared to Santorini. For my part, I preferred the latter as walking around with a bunch of tourists bustling around you doesn't really make the perfect vacation, now does it?

We even met a huge pelican waddling around a restaurant's al fresco seating area. I thought it looked a little old what with its balding-ish head, hehe.

Greek coffee. I don't really recommend that you try it unless you're able to take very strong coffee. Besides being really strong, it also has a gritty texture and it has a bitter taste. Not my cup of coffee I'm afraid.

Next stop: Ireland!

PS I love you, Ireland short post. Greece part 2 still pending.

2010-05-29T04:53:00.008+08:00

Just a quick and short diversion from my Greece travel diaries, but I was just watching PS I Love You and it came to the part where Hillary Swank and Gerard Butler met for the first time on a bridge....or rather, on THAT bridge. I was swooning when I saw the beautiful heather blooming on both sides of the road ( they weren't there when we went) when I heard Hillary say, that was her post-college trip and she started off from Greece. I swear we weren't trying to copy the storyline when we told our fellow tourmates the exact same thing! And yes, we were telling the truth all right!

I don't know why and what it is with places where movies were shot, but when I saw that part of the movie it was like, a thousand fireworks lighting up the sky at once! And it is So. Romantic. Swoon......

The bridge when we went a few days ago.

Has any of you had this sort of love? The sort that leaves you out of breath, intoxicated yet refreshed, and gives you a little spring in your step when you think of him/her? The sort that makes you 100% sure that he/she is The One, and anyone else would never do? The sort that would make you feel as if you'd died a hundred times over when he/she died?

I don't even know if I will experience this sort of love in my lifetime. I don't know if it is the sort of love that can only come out of movies and novels, idealised by people's imaginations. But hey, imagination is what makes the world turn round, is it not?

p/s: Obviously this is not all I'm going to write about my travels to Ireland. A much longer post will be coming up (soon, I hope!). I posted this just because I was too excited when I saw the movie. Yeah right.

Greece part 1

2010-05-28T19:30:00.009+08:00

Dear all, did you miss me? I'm sorry this blog has been neglected for a good long time. I have finished my finals (and crossing my fingers every single day), and went on a well-needed vacation to Greece and Ireland. I'd always thought that I would never want to see another book again in my life after what I went through during the finals, but after a refreshing break I feel I just might take up further studying in the future.

Our original plan was to fly in to Greece via Athens, but after seeing the turmoil we decided on a change of plans to fly straight to Santorini instead. Santorini is a collection of lovely little islands off the southeast of Greece formed from volcanic eruptions. It is difficult to say exactly what was its charm: the beaches were clean and peaceful, the architecture of the buildings were very different from the rest of the country, and the people are one of the friendliest I have seen.

We spent a day on Perissa beach. The sand is black due to the volcanic soil, and the sea is in the bluest shade of blue I have ever seen. The one thing I regretted was not bringing more warm clothing to the island. Foolishly I thought all islands would be sunny and happy but unfortunately that does not include santorini! The temperature was cool but the wind was...cold. The locals were wearing jackets and sweaters and I felt like such a fool in my summer dresses, shivering away on the beach! In the end I had to put on my thick jacket I brought along, and planned to wear in ireland cos I assumed the weather was much colder there, and still looked like a fool on the island wearing my winter jacket and thin flouncy dress. Le sigh.

(actually I didn't really get to wear the thick jacket in ireland much in the end. We overestimated the weather in greece and underestimated that of ireland, but more of that later anyway.)

Our most expensive dinner in santorini, totalling to over 17 euros per person.

And, we had a surprise birthday celebration for the bestie! =)

We recruited many cute guys to sing her a birthday song.

On the second day, we rented two cars for the six of us and went a-exploring around the island. It is impractical and somewhat impossible to walk around in santorini as the island is not really that compact and dust was blowing into our eyes all the time as the wind was so strong (which explains the chilly weather too). ATVs are cheaper than renting a car but one ATV only sits two people and it goes SO. SLOWLY. A car costs about 45 euros per day not including petrol for an automatic car, and a manual one costs 40 euros. But the manual car wasn't a feasible option as the driver sits on the left and drives on the right side of the road, and the clutch is on the right side of the driver (all opposite to malaysia). Sin Wee was really excited to be able to drive after a dry spell in glasgow but me, as always the one with no sense of direction always seemed to read the map wrong and we ended up reversing the car quite a number of times as we took a few wrong turnings or didn't turn at the correct place. Good times.

Sinwee looking very excited behind the wheel.

Vilchada beach.

All six of us with the flag of Greece behind.

Megalochori.

Souvlaki!

Another souvlaki.

Greek salad! with a huge chunk of feta cheese in the middle. Yum!

Moussaka.

A little tip for those who are also heading to Greece. How do you know if the restaurant has cheap food? An average moussaka costs around 8-10 euros, so if its moussaka is cheaper than that it's considered cheap enough. A cheap greek salad will cost about 5-6 euros.

Part 2 coming up next!

Amsterdam part 2: food & random

2010-04-21T20:20:00.009+08:00

I'm sorry I've been a lousy blogger lately, studying for my finals are practically taking up ALL of my time. I don't much like cramming for exams this way, I feel I'm memorising blatantly rather than learning intelligently but I guess sometimes this is necessary in our present schooling system: study what you're supposed to study and do well in exams. Full stop. I'm trying to make studying a more happy thing but it's difficult because not everything I'm studying appeals to me. I do like most of the stuff I'm studying but not all correlates with my interests. But these are our final exams ever (we're graduating!) and it is only proper that I give my 100% in it!

Because I don't really have much to talk about, here are a few pictures from my last trip to Amsterdam that I didn't post in my last blog.

We went for a traditional Dutch three-course meal, which includes a starter of pea soup, a main course of mashed potatoes and Dutch sausages, and a custard pudding for dessert. The mushy pea soup was perfectly blended and a few pieces of sausages were added in it for flavour. The main course was the typical 'western' dish we were used to in Glasgow, but the sausages were really tasty. And the pudding....ahhh. It had the 'melt-in-your-mouth' feel and was just right in terms of sweetness and texture. I was the greedy one as usual and gobbled up my pudding as well as the bestie's! (sorry Wenchin, I know you love me.) I enjoyed the food (especially the dessert!) thoroughly and managed to finish every last bit of it. It was the largest meal I had eaten in a long time.

One of the good things about our hostel (Shelter City Christian Centre) was that it provided hot breakfast every morning, served fresh! And every day's menu was different. It was bliss to wake up every morning knowing that a nice piping hot breakfast was awaiting you in the canteen. Love!

And a few more random pictures...

It doesn't help that we have a trip to Greece and Ireland all planned out right after our finals. My thoughts keep wandering to the beautiful places we'll be going and what I'm going to bring on these trips, instead of focussing on my books. It's annoying! But it also gives me a sort of motivation to study because I know that the best part will be right behind the hardest part!

toilet paper origami

2010-04-17T19:54:00.003+08:00

I came upon this blog in one of the links at the left side of this page. And thought, why not?

So I went into the toilet in our flat and made the above designs, based on tutorials here.

Hope my housemates had a lovely surprise when they went for a wee this morning. =)

ambient amsterdam.

2010-04-08T06:57:00.015+08:00

Amsterdam was...nice.

It was a refreshing break from all the assignments and projects, and it was a nice change from the four walls of my dorm room.

It had beautiful scenery, with idyllic canals, artistic and one-of-a-kind buildings, and fantastic nature at its best.

It is supposed to be the land of sin, but we managed to steer clear of sin and instead stayed in a christian shelter right next to sin itself.

It was enjoyable, but there seemed to be a lack to things to do and see once nightfall came, and us girls who were less keen on the cannabis and sex, went to bed every night before 10pm.

(then again, the sex part was never an option for us as Amsterdam is the land of window girls and not window guys!)

Amsterdam has its fair share of beauty and bounty from mother nature. It would make a nice relaxing weekend trip for the less adventurous, and could also provide an exciting escapade for those who are more...naughty.

On the first day we went for a free tour of Amsterdam city by Sandeman's tour group. It was a perfect way to kick off our stay in Amsterdam. On the 3-hour tour, we covered--

• The Old Church

• The Red Light District

• The Jewish Quarter

• Royal Palace

• The Jordaan District

• The Anne Frank House

• The Dutch East India Company

• The Begijnhof Convent

• Masterpieces of Dutch Art

• The Widest Bridge and Narrowest House

Amsterdam is a place of paradoxes. A large church is located right next to the busiest part of the red light district, and people can go right from the arms of the girls straight into the embraces of God, to ask for forgiveness. Makes life much more easier, don't you think?

What's that sitting quietly in the corner of the building? That warrants a special mention by our tour guide? Aha! It is a PEE SHIELD. Literally, to shield the dark corners of Amsterdam from people's pee. When someone pees in that corner onto the pee shield, the pee reflects off the shield right onto the pants of the offender! What an ingenious contraption, eh?

Bucketfuls of flowers, mostly tulips.

On the second day, we went to the Keukenhof flower gardens. Amsterdam is famous for its tulips in the spring and Keukenhof is a must-go for every traveller to the city. The gardens boast fields and fields of tulips and loads of other flower species, almost everything imaginable under the sun. Unfortunately our timing was not perfect for the tulips and only about 60% were blooming. The rest was still sleeping or too shy to meet us.

real flowers looking as if they had been cut out from paper.

the greenhouse in Keukenhof where tulips can bloom and be pretty all year round.

The third day, we went to Zaanse Schans, a tourist area off Amsterdam with everything the city is famous for. Think windmills, cheese, wooden clogs, and canal cruises.

Zaanse schans. You can see that Amsterdam is all about the scenery!

Fourth day: we went to a few little towns on the outskirts of Amsterdam. Some of us commented that the scenic small towns around Amsterdam would make a perfect place for retirement. I couldn't agree more. Living in Edam and Marken would quite possibly add another 10 to 15 years of robust healthy years to our lifespan had we settled down here. What with bubbling brooks running right in front of your house and vast green fields of tulips behind, it's a wonder these quaint little places aren't overflowing with senior citizens!

in volendam, a small town on the outskirts of amsterdam. A lovely place to have a coffee and watch the world go by.

what is there to complain about if you lived in a place like this?

the all-girls tour group. picture taken from jane's camera.

Last day we hung out around the marketplace near our hostel and marveled at the huge array of veg, fruits and traditional Dutch pastries sold in the small space. I bought a piece of cake made from brown rice and walnuts.

wet market in amsterdam. So colourful and fresh and juicy!

A few of us opted to visit the Heineken beer factory, located right in the heart of its birthplace, Amsterdam. The short tour of the factory was perfectly planned and the layout was ingenious. It almost had a Disneyland feel to it, so good it was.Entrance fees were a little steep for us poor students (15 euros) but it was totally worth every penny, even more if you finish the three beers allocated for you.

Heineken factory visit, where everyone was entitled to three glasses of beer. love!

the apple pie Amsterdam is famous for. and coffee, as always.

breakfast in Shelter City, listening to christian music and munching on hot pancakes with maple syrup. picture by jane.

my happy place

2010-03-18T23:28:00.003+08:00

This was my breakfast today.

Yoghurt, two plums, a banana, and a cup of coffee.

I think when I eat a healthy meal first thing in the day, I'm more inclined to eat healthily for the rest of the day, and less likely to reach for a carb-filled snack in the middle of the day.

I have been religiously going to the gym for the past 6 months or so, working out for at least one and a half hour every day. I think my strength has improved, I am able to exercise longer, and I'm finally able to do the 'male' version of push-ups! (ie. the kind where you push-up with feet on the ground instead of knees.) I love the energy and 'high' workouts give me, I feel like I'm slimmer and happier after a session at the gym. Ridiculous? Not for me. =)

I have been recently discovering and applying the concept of minimalism. Many blogs and articles have been written on this, so I shall not try to explain in my beginner's way. But I can tell you this: Minimalism is about buying, keeping and doing only what you love, and eliminating all the superfluous stuff. To me, the ultimate minimalist would be able to fit in all her belongings in a backpack and go trekking in the Himalayas if she wanted to. Of course I'm nowhere near that yet and I have no plans to become as minimalist as that, but I'm learning.

I feel healthy. And so, I feel happy.

so said the wise people...

2010-03-10T03:10:00.002+08:00

I like this. Hope you do too.

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

The Jews realized that they had no choice. They looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer.

No one wanted to be the one to risk losing a debate with the pope. Finally an old man named Moishe said that he would do it, since if no one did, the Jews would be forced to leave. He asked only that neither side be allowed to talk during the debate. The Pope finally agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.

"Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us.

"I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible! "What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving.

"Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman. "I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

As found on this website.

where do you belong?

2010-03-05T08:31:00.002+08:00

We had our first chinese new year celebration away from home this year.

It felt different, somehow. Although we did have a proper reunion dinner (though not on the 'proper' day - we had exams on 初二 - so our dinner was postponed to a few days after the actual day). We had all the food that we were supposed to eat during a 'proper' reunion dinner, even the lou sang, and it was a great celebration with friends, awesome festive mood, and good food.

But it felt different, without family.

Although I have always (and I really mean always) find CNY a huge hassle to prepare for and celebrate back at home, and I detest the socialising we're supposed to do during the first few days of CNY with relatives and friends. I mean, I meet these people once a year (twice, if I'm lucky) and we practically know nothing about each other. Heck, I'm closer to my online penpals (not that I have any now) than I am to them. I have always thought CNY forced us to be with people we don't like and do things we don't like because the situation warrants it. I'm always happiest on the day school reopens after the whole fiasco. Seriously!

Well, I certainly don't miss that part of CNY now I'm in the UK. But I do miss spending time with my parents, decorating the house with new year paraphernalia, baking biscuits and cakes for the new year, and even watching corny new year television shows with them. I miss the joy and smiles that comes easily and watching my dad doubling over with laughter when someone cracks a really funny joke.

That made me think: What exactly is home, anyway?

Would Glasgow seem less foreign if my parents were here with me?

Would Malaysia seem less familiar if my parents were away from the country?

What is home, anyway?

I have spent three seasons away from my homeland until now, and I understand how it feels to be a foreigner, stepping on foreign soil and being with people that see you as a foreigner. I know that, no matter how much I like it here, this is not my home.

But then again, I wondered to myself: would Glasgow seem any more like home if I spent ten years and settled down with a family in this piece of 'foreign' soil?

I don't know.

Some people spend a month away from their homeland and feel perfectly at home, wherever they are.

Some people spend a lifetime in a land away from their homeland and never feel as if they belong.

Feeling as though we belong - does it make us happier?

I think it makes us feel more secure, more grounded, to be in a place where the people see you as one of their own. Where people will not treat you differently just because you came from a different place as them.

Nine months down the road, it's sometimes easy for me to forget I'm not a local. When I'm walking down a street, when I'm browsing in stores, or when I'm simply having a coffee in a roadside cafe, I look at the faces of the people around me and never feel like I'm any different.

But there are times when a look, a twitch of the eye, or an unconscious expression, from the people to me, suddenly reminds me that although I may not feel like a foreigner, they certainly, somewhere deep inside (or sometimes it's on the surface), see me as a foreigner.

What about those who travel for a living? What about those who circle around the world and never stay in the same place for more than a week? Where is their 'home', then?

Perhaps, home is their hotel for the day, where they can put down their bags and rest, and be protected from the outer environment.

Perhaps, home is a certain cafe with similar outlets all around the world, so when they step foot inside the cafe wherever they are, they feel they're home.

Perhaps, home is where their loved ones are, who greet them with smiles and a simple 'How was your day?', and let them be themselves without being judged, and feel as though they're finally 'home'.

Where do you belong?

Where is your home? =)

that's what the internet is for...to scare myself!

2010-03-02T08:41:00.003+08:00

Well.

So a couple of weeks ago I've been starting to have pains in my lower left calf during my regular Body Attack classes. It usually starts at the part of the seriously intense high-leg jumping and shuffles. What happens is after the high-impact part my calf starts to hurt at the lower back part, and gets progressively worse as the class goes on. It hurts the most when I land on the ground after I jump. When I'm not exercising I feel fine. Even when I'm at the gym either on running on the treadmill or on the elliptical it's quite okay.

And today after my class it was acting up just a little bit more than usual, and that got me a little worried.

It doesn't feel like muscle pain to me since I've had lots of that in the past and I know how it feels like! Normally if I get muscle pain post-exercise it definitely happens in both legs. And 'normal' muscle pain goes away after a few sessions - the muscles are trained to get stronger and the pain gets lesser. But this? It's there with me at every body attack class. It doesn't seem to be getting worse, just that it always acts up after every class and it's SO bothersome!

I didn't feel it was serious enough to warrant a visit to the local GP; I would feel foolish sitting in the GP's room describing my symptoms. Silly it may be, but I felt the GP would be laughing at me and send me home with some NSAIDs. Or would he?

So I did what every self-respecting future medical professional would: go on the internet and search for possible diagnosis.

And scared the shit out of myself.

I typed 'calf hurts after high impact exercise' and guess what turned up the most?

Something called 'shin splints'!

Apparently it's very common in runners and people who take part in high-impact exercises. The condition is due to microfractures of the shin bone (tibia) and it happens when people don't warm up properly before exercising (that's me!). It happens especially when runners run on incline surfaces or hard ones (again, that's me - for the incline part). It will heal on its own, but it's quite difficult and needs lots of rest (definitely not for me!).

So now that I'm properly scared, the next step would be to google 'how to diagnose shin splints'.

Well, this website gave this answer, which I'm going to quote directly:

Press your fingertips along your shin, and if you can find a definite spot of sharp pain, it's a sign of a stress fracture; the pain of shin splints is more generalized. "Usually stress fractures feel better in the morning because you've rested the bone all night," says Letha Griffin, M.D., an Atlanta orthopedic surgeon who specializes in sports medicine. "Shin splints are worse in the morning because the soft tissue tightens overnight--you get out of bed, and you can hardly walk."

"Shin splints will be most painful if you forcibly try to lift your foot up at the ankle," says Sheldon Laps, D.P.M., a podiatrist in the Washington, D.C., area. "If you flex your foot and it hurts, it's probably shin splints." Also, a horizontal rather than vertical line of tenderness across the bone is typical of a stress fracture, says Pribut.

Well, well!

So far so good.

My left foot doesn't hurt when I flex it, and I've never had problems walking after I wake up in the morning.

And all other website stated that inflammation will occur when people get shin splints, and my left calf doesn't seem to be swelling.

(Or even if it is, I wouldn't be able to see it properly since my calves are so huge...hahaha)

So final diagnosis?

Not a shin splint.

There's another condition called the compartment syndrome, but my symptoms don't fit the diagnosis.

So what is it?.....

I really don't know.

I'm hoping that it isn't something more sinister.

It's during times like this that I hope I'd taken up medicine instead of pharmacy, so I can simply diagnose myself. So convenient!

Friends, any answers?

as if we still hadn't had enough biopharm

2010-02-15T18:58:00.003+08:00

I hope this is not against Strathclyde exam laws, hehe.

Here's a question from our exam today.

Q: What is the cause of cervical cancer in humans?

A) Human papilloma virus

B) Human cervical virus

C) Yesseria virus

D) Vaccinia virus

E) Men

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously?!......

I can just imagine the lecturer who came up with this question, running out of options to put for (E), scratching his head, and finally decided to put the TRUE answer as the final option.

If I had the guts I would put (e) as my answer. After all, it IS correct, in real life!

today

2010-02-04T10:20:00.000+08:00

Today, I am happy.

1. Passed an exam which have been worrying me for some time. I'm thankful that I do not have to worry about it any more. I am also grateful for all the support and well-wishes from the people around me, and for the fact that Lady luck was with me throughout the exam. I am truly thankful.

2. Finished my pharm care presentation. It's not as big an issue as the one above, but I am no public speaker and public speaking has not been easy for me. I went though the whole presentation with no obstacles, I was able to answer all the questions fairly reasonably. I am happy that all my preparation work was not wasted.

3. Had a great time this evening sliding down the snow-covered slopes behind our hostel and having an epic snow fight! Although I did not participate much in either (I forgot my gloves and it was FREEZING cold) I still had a blast. Love!

I am happy, thankful, relieved. And that is enough for me, for now.

do you do this?

2010-01-30T22:38:00.005+08:00

It's surprising how most of us treat the ones we love most, the worst.

I have come to realise this ever since my parents came to Glasgow to visit, and my housemates had a simple but profound observation:

I was much more polite to my housemates and friends than I was to my parents.

I didn't quite believe it at first. I even tried to justify it by thinking that it was normal, that I've spoken to them in this way my whole life, and this was just the way we communicated. I was in denial.

But after giving it some thought (okay, make it a LOT of thought), I realised it was true.

I realised that I'd always had this misconception that I had to treat my friends good because, well, they're my friends and if I'm nasty to them, they would take off in no time, simply because they can!

But my parents are, well, my parents and we're obliged to love each other no matter what horrible things we do or whatever awful things we say.

I always felt that my parents would always be there for me, and there was no need to 'suck up' to them because they would love me for who I am, because I'm their one and only daughter.

Having said that, by no means I'm saying that I suck up to my friends. I just have to hold my tongue many a time when I know that saying it would make them annoyed, or angry. (but sometimes I still slip off the edge and say stuff I was not supposed to say. I believe my 'straight guts' have offended many a friend sometimes...)

When I have issues, or when I'm sad, I offload to my parents. I dump my bad feelings and emotions on them because I know I can. I know I won't have to worry about them thinking badly of me because if they're not there for me when I need it, who else will be?

When I'm annoyed or angry, I am not afraid to show my parents how I really feel, because I know I will not be judged. I know some of my friends have said that I 'have no temper' but it's just because I prefer to keep things nice and sunny between friends. I don't like confrontations because I know once there has been just one, things will never be the same again. (but then again I must say that my friends are an awesome bunch of people, and there has never been situations where I was truly mad at them, touchwood. =P You people know I love you.)

What my normal friends and acquaintances see is the sunny side of me. What the people close to me see, is the whole package, the flaws, the temper, and of course the smiles. Most of the time it's just the smiles, because I don't get upset or angry often, but you can be sure that when I am, the people close to me will see the bad part of me.

So does that make me a bad person? If we truly love the people close to us shouldn't the situation be reversed? Let them see the sunny side, keep them happy and show the bad side to people who are not close to us? Since love is supposed to make people happy and not to upset or burden them further.

But then again, isn't love about 'in sickness or health, for better or worse'? We love people because we love them for who they are, warts and all. Not because they are nice to us, buy us things or give us money.

Another thought I had was that if we truly loved the people we claimed to, we would keep our sorry side to ourselves and show only the happy and nice side of ourselves to them. I mean, they would certainly be happier (without our emo-ness and issues and burdens) and if they're happy, wouldn't that make us happy as well?

So does that mean, in a nutshell, that the 'bad' side of ourselves can only be kept hidden in our hearts, never to see the light of the day?

I don't know.

But I am constantly trying to treat my parents and close friends as well as I possibly can. I know that if I tell them something or do stuff that is going to hurt them, I''d prefer not to say that if I can. I mean, I would want to feel happy when I'm around them, so why not vice versa?

I don't know if this is feasible in the real world. I mean, I would probably still need to complain to my parents once in a while to keep my sanity, and there will be times when I slip and hurt them just that bit. But I can try to keep those to a minimum, can't I?

After all, that's what love is all about anyway.

听说

2010-01-16T10:36:00.002+08:00

这是一部好电影.

干净, 简单, 感动.

非常值得一看.

我喜欢. =)

p/s: this taiwan-based movie will not be screened in UK for obvious reasons. That's what ppstream is for. Don't say I didn't tell you.

sweet.

2010-01-14T06:23:00.004+08:00

This was what greeted me when I opened my bedroom door first thing today morning.

On closer inspection....

and,

Cheers to my happy housemates. I love you too, ya know. =)

p/s: my fingers are still tightly crossed. PP3, thou shalt not haunt my dreams any longer, please?

I don't need proof to show I'm growing older. my friends do that for me.

2010-01-09T20:47:00.010+08:00

Just a quick post before I've to continue studying for the drat pp3!

I had a lovely birthday, thanks to my funny friends.

The blessed people took me out for dinner at Kokuryo (now changed to another name) for dinner, then brought out the surprise cake at 12am! And of course the gift. I was surprised at that too, because it was a little..erm, expensive. hehehe. But a million thanks to all my friends anyway, you know I love you.

the present & birthday card. lovely!

the housemates-cum-cakebakers!! love you lots!! muaxxxx

the lenglui neighbours.

downstairs neighbours + faithful gym buddy. =)

next door neighbours. youzee, why so funny? =)

me looking exasperated, & weiluen looking embarrassed. no thanks to the photographer(s). =P

@kokuryo

And thus marks another year of my life. No longer a girl, not yet a woman. And still figuring out myself as always. That's what's called life, eh? =)

p/s: I won't be posting the rest of the photos till after pp3. do forgive me! but thanks mucho to my 2 lovely photographers Jane& Chingyik. =)

the obligatory new year post + london!

2010-01-03T23:24:00.032+08:00

Happy 2010 peeps!!!

The housemates and I went to London to celebrate the ushering in of a brand new decade.

(besides ushering in the new year, I too ushered in a cold and newfound eczema. dang!)

cheers! to a new year, and fantastic korean food in london. =)

Unlike our other trips, we decided to have a chillin' time in London instead of rushing around like headless chickens everyday from dawn to midnight. We spent most of our time around good food and great shopping, less on the obligatory tourist spots.

Speaking of good food, here goes:

super spicy seafood udong @ assa

roti canai and teh tarik @ malaysian hall

crispy duck rice @ gold mine bayswater

hakka mee + bubur chacha @ malaysian kopitiam

lobster noodles @ I-forgot-the-name-restaurant bayswater. ooh la la....

I know, I know. Why all the Asian food in London? =)

Well, we missed malaysian food after all. And the korean restaurant had come highly recommended. (I too highly recommend it! just order the normal version, not the spicy udong. I nearly spat fire at my dinner mates after eating half of it.)

To be fair, all the food we had in London tasted incredible to our starved-for-asian-food tastebuds. It was really, really good. Perhaps we shall visit London again someday for a culinary trip, eh? *winks at Irene* =)

In an attempt to make our job easier (okay, to be fair it was Sinwee's for most of the time), we went on 2 local walking tours to explore London's tourist spots. Easy peasy!

Random photos from the trip coming up. I'm too lazy (and yucky sleepy sniffly) to elaborate.

chinatown. does anyone know how the first chinese character from the left is pronounced?

sell heong peng in malaysia at this price (4.5pounds=25ringgit) and people will say you're a madman.

covent garden

trafalgar square

buckingham palace, waiting for the royal exchange of guards

big tower with big ben inside, with cold wet me outside. brrrr...

parliament house, amazing architecture.

clock of court used in harry potter. looks familiar huh?

tower bridge

and the dreaded london tower. pity anne boleyn's ghost didn't bid us welcome that night. perhaps it was too cold even for the dead, much lesser the living.

And of course, the countdown@London Eye!!

28 seconds to go.....

9....

1!.....

HAPPY 2010!!!!!!!

And of course, this shall be my first and last live countdown. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience, once is more than enough!

We arrived at the viewing area before 9pm, found a spot and stood in the same spot for the next three hours. Add to the equation a temperature of below freezing point (well, it certainly felt that way to me then) and not getting to pee for the entire time, is NOT a recipe for fun! Well, if it was any consolation we certainly did get a good view of the fireworks after 3 hours of playing ice statue. Absolutely priceless.

+:+:+:+:+:+:+

The smile pockets a rattling controversy.
The laugh makes people smile back at you.
The frown never maketh friends any.

Confused? Don't be. I'm just trying out something, which will be revealed in good time. =)

of christmas and edible babies

2009-12-26T05:51:00.005+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! =)

Unfortunately christmas this year was a quiet event for me. We did have a lovely party yesterday evening though, hosted by our future Nigella Lawson aka. Irene!! *cue clapping from people* The starter was garlic bread with thick creamy mushroom soup, main course was turkey with roast potatoes, a side dish of ham and carrot&parsnips, and dessert was baked bananas with apricot puree and a topping of Viennetta. Yum! The food was excellent indeed.

Then I went over to Jeannette's for the faux-christmas countdown. Why faux? Because we were talking away too happily before we realised that it was past 12am! But nevermind. More food and drinks here, including the talented Chan Sing's alcohol mix. I had no idea what the drink was but it was the most delicious concoction tasting of fruit and custard and egg yolks! Yum again. And we welcomed Christmas in the most traditional way possible: watch a horror movie. And spent the rest of the night seeing monsters burst out of people's stomachs and people eating other people. Merry Christmas indeed, huh.

Fast forward to today.

I spent my morning in the dullest way possible, ie revising for my PP3 resit exam. How pathetic. But what needs to be done, has to be done. Then the bestie decided to make gingerbread men in the afternoon, so Sinwee and I became her assistants. And watched movies on her laptop along the way.

I'll be (trying to) sleep early tonight so I'll be able to wake up at 6am in time for the boxing day sales. Hope I can drag my sorry self out of bed tomorrow morning before the good stuff gets snapped up. I need to get myself a knitted hat for our cold cold London trip, and I'm hoping the headband I've been eyeing since forever is on sale tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Merry christmas, indeed.

when people from the tropics meet the first snow of glasgow

2009-12-20T21:38:00.015+08:00

....they scream, shout, take pictures and throw snowballs at each other!

me and xinyi looking excited over the big blob of snow, and the rain of snow!

I didn't realise it when the snow started falling. I was sitting comfortable in front of my laptop, going through my usual daily routine of trawling blogs and websites, when I heard friends' voices from below...sounding very excited indeed! And I threw open the window, and lo and behold! White snow billowing down from the heavens, and covering the ground. Yay!

in front of TCC...us excited people seeing snow for the first time.

brendan and I posing with the snow lol.

snow fight!

by the little river in front of SIPBS building

footsteps in the snow

The only downside of snow is that it complicates travelling and moving around, especially when it comes to flying. Many flights to and from London have been delayed, and even some Eurostar services have been stopped. Now I am a little worried that these will cause some hiccups to our upcoming London trip. Getting there probably won't be a problem as we will be taking the train, but I'm crossing my fingers that we will be able to fly back to Glasgow safely, and on time. Anyway I'll be packing some extra clothings just in case our holiday plans go awry.....but of course, hopefully not!

And of course, the awful weather. I really don't know exactly how much I should layer up so as to avoid becoming a human popsicle. A whole day out in a giant freezer isn't really a recipe for fun! Glasgow is still tolerable for now, but I'm not so sure about London. And I'm still debating on whether to stock up groceries and foodstuffs just in case Glasgow gets hit by an extraordinarily bad blizzard or covered in a foot of snow. Lets hope it doesn't.

xoxo

life is good. I'm not dead. Yet.

2009-12-17T06:40:00.013+08:00

It's been exactly one and a half month since my last post.

I am officially a lousy and lazy blogger.

Life has been good those days my presence was missed. (yeah right!)

The weather in Glasgow has turned to be a gigantic natural freezer, in which putting anything in the COLD air will turn meat (ie. our fingers and toes and anything else exposed) into frozen meat, which is what you would expect when you put meat into YOUR freezer at home.

We're just starting our first winter, and so far the coldest we had was -3 degrees. On average the temperature here ranges from 3-8 degrees, for now. It was said that there would be snow on thursday (tomorrow!) so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. But Siobhan (my workshop buddy) said it had to get colder than this for snow to happen, so that may not be now. But snow in Glasgow is a relatively mild event for those who have pictures in their mind of fluffy white thick snow on the ground, so typical of movies. Apparently the average winter in Glasgow sees only a light dusting of snow on the ground, and the stuff doesn't stay around for long.

These are actually pictures of my campus taken in the autumn. I don't have any winter ones yet because there isn't any snow that will give the winter-ish look and the trees are not quite botak yet. But the weather is winter all right!

So, moving on to what I've been up to.

November was a busy month. We had our research introduction, pharm care presentation, as well as a Drug delivery test to fill our time. But those are boring stuff, I shall not tell you more.

Then we chipped in for Jane's birthday (a grand event, as you would expect) by making cupcakes!

100% handmade, mind you! We spent a whole afternoon labouring away at the intricate designs and copying (and failing, somewhat) the cupcake designs we found online. Alas there is only so much a bunch of cupcake beginners can do, huh.

The three in the middle are MY handiwork! Unfortunately one was proclaimed 'jiang chou de??' and another was said to be pimples on a mountain or something like that. Le sigh.

The colourful toppings were moulded from an icing mixed with food colourings. It was like playing with Playdoh, like the olden days of yonder. Though I never really was a fan of playdoh. But it was a great afternoon of moulding and shaping, and girly chit-chatting. It was a lot of fun, to say the least. In the end everyone was so proud and protective of THEIR cupcakes that it became sort of a competition to see which cupcake would become the birthday girl's favourite. (and this is where mine was said to be 'jiang chou de', sigh....=PPPP )

Just kidding, little J. You know I love you. =)

And then, the parents came!!!

They dropped by Glasgow for 3 days. Unfortunately their visit coincided with the worst weather ever, with angry torrents of pelting rain and gales of wind that will blow you off your feet if your body weight is under 40kg. (another reason to eat more, eh?)

the 2 ladies on the front left are headmistresses. the couple on the front right are my parents. hahaha.

Brought them to Lauders for a taste of the local food and beer, and they loved it! But they're not so crazy about the weather though.

Oh, and once they left Glasgow for Paris, the weather here turned all sunny and happy again. Talk about bad timing!

Then.....

Before sending the besties off for their trip, we celebrated winter solstice early this year!

Yes, that's right! Tang yuan in angmoh-land!!

We made the paste from mixing rice flour with hot water, kneaded and adding more flour until it turned the correct consistency. And then we quarreled on MAJOR stuff like whether or not to get red food colouring for the rice balls and whether to make them big (normal sized, actually) or small (like the 'pearls' in 珍珠奶茶.)

(We compromised in the end: first batch to boil = large balls, second batch = small ones. Both were equally delicious.)

And we lived happily ever after. The end.

of gunpowder and fireworks

2009-11-07T05:36:00.002+08:00

5th of November is Guy Fawkes' night, to celebrate the downfall of the gunpowder plot to bring down the Parliament Houses in London.

5th of November is also a night of extravagant fireworks display all around UK.

And we joined in the fun at Glasgow Green!

I didn't actually understand the significance of the celebration at first, I just went along for the fireworks. And boy, was it amazing indeed!

No pictures, videos or words can describe the feeling of watching fireworks burst into golden rings and stars right above your head.

It's like a miracle unfolding right in front of your eyes.

I loved every second of it.

+:+:+:+:+

I thought my research project was going to be a breeze, but I guess I was wrong.

Since I'm not a chemistry major, doing a research in advanced pure chemistry is no laughing matter.

My chemistry background is, unfortunately, limited to daddy's home tuition and bits and pieces of whatever little we learnt back in physical pharmacy. Or was it?...

It is like throwing a primary school kid into university and asking him to graduate with flying colours.

More than half the time, I'm actually trying to figure out what's going on above my head.

The other half, I'm furiously learning up on co-crystals and related information, trying to cram everything into my little brain in the least time possible.

I really want to produce at least one co-crystal from this project.

Initially (when I didn't know ANYTHING) I thought I would be able to make 3 co-crystals out of my materials.

Then when we actually started doing stuff, I realised how extremely difficult it is to make even ONE measly co-crystal.

Le sigh. Why does science have to be so elusive (and boring...at times).

Adding to my pressure is the fact that my lecturer in charge is one specialised in co-crystals, and I really don't want to disappoint him (and myself!)

还真的有拉牛上树的感觉.

怎么办?

invaders...

2009-10-28T07:06:00.005+08:00

...or are we?

I don't know if you've watched this episode of Grey's. It's about the merging of two hospitals and the first day of work when doctors and nurses and other health personnel from two different environments come together and work together.

Because the series is based in Seattle Grace hospital, naturally it would depict the people from the other hospital as invaders. Basically what the series was trying to say was that the SG people found the 'invaders' to be annoying, irritating, and at times, infuriating. All because the people had come to 'their' hospital to work with them.

I think the concept was that SG somewhat belonged to them, and they didn't like it when outsiders who were not welcome, came.

Then it made me wonder.

Doesn't it make sense?

WE are invaders too, in a sense.

115 of us, altogether, came here to study with the homestudents, who have been together since 3 years ago, and probably have formed tight friendships with each other.

then we come and ruin everything.

We invade their lecture halls, making it cramped and difficult to find a nice spot.

We invade their labs and libraries, reducing the number of books available for them to borrow.

We invade their cafes and canteens, eating their food and sitting in their places.

In a way, I wouldn't be surprised if they felt the same way as the good people in Grey's. We were the invaders in the first place.

Of course I understand that the episode was stating that in a somewhat immature way, but you cannot say it doesn't make sense. If a whole 100+ bunch of students suddenly came to study with us in IMU out of the blue, we wouldn't exactly embrace them, lock stock and barrel. We would also feel that our space was invaded, to a certain extent.

But then again, to the homestudents' credit, they have been nothing but friendly towards us.

My buddy has been most warm and welcoming towards me, and for that, I'm grateful.

I didn't go to the pub crawl, but what I heard, there was much mingling and it was great between us and them.

Then again, I probably shouldn't think in terms of 'us and them', right.

of movies and ramblings, and edinburgh

2009-10-27T04:04:00.010+08:00

So I was watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile yesterday night.

I know I know. It's a little too late for a review of a movie that came out years ago, but still...

Well. For those who didn't watch the show, it's basically about this female art lecturer who had really avant-garde ideas about feminism and female rights and stuff, who wanted to make a difference in the lives of her female students. But her efforts were constantly thwarted by them, her peers, and the general society during that time.

Oh, and the movie was set in the 50-s.

What the movie was trying to say was that in those days, women belonged to their husbands and their families, and their right place was in their homes and nowhere else. Which, of course, is not true nowadays, but only to a certain extent.

It got me thinking.

How modern are we actually? When it comes to matters like this. We say females have as much capability as males (perhaps even more?) and we should be entitled to the same things as our male counterparts.

But,

Why do parents always shush their sons when they cry, and not their daughters? Kids feel pain as much as one another, so why is it that people find crying boys embarrassing?

Why does it always have to be the guy who asks the girl out on a date? And pay for it? (at least on the first few ones?) If both parties are earning wages, shouldn't it be fair for both to pay their own?

Why is it always that girls are the ones to worry about 'not getting married off' at a certain age? And the guys don't? (well, at least not till they're 60 or so....)

Why is it that the female always has to be the one to give up her job once she has a baby? The baby came from both parents so why shouldn't it be the responsibility of both?

Why is it that the female always has to take care of the household chores, even when she has a regular 9-5 job? And all the husband does after coming back from work is to ask 'honey, where's dinner?'

Why is it that the general public sees middle aged unmarried females as 'failures'? As if not getting married after a certain age deems them 'leftover goods'? (don't laugh, I've heard many people say this about those unlucky girls!...behind their backs of course). And guys get more and more berharga as they grow older in the marriage market?

Why is it that females holding a high position in a company will be termed a bitch if she's too aggressive, and males who do that are said to be 'assertive'?

Why is it that males have porn magazines and websites with naked females, and we girls don't have magazines and websites of naked men?

Why is it that a handful of masochistic males nowadays can still say that rape victims 'asked for it' because they were dressed too skimpily? To say in front of everyone that their political counterparts will 'leak' every month? To say that if the rape victim can't get herself free of her rapist, to 'just let go and enjoy it'?

Why? Why?

I could go on and on. But you get the idea.

+:+:+:+:+:+

Moving on to prettier topics.

The housemates and I went to Edinburgh over the weekend!

autumn's here!

it was a wet day in Edinburgh

us in front of Edinburgh castle. I love my new coat! =)

the view which officially inspired Harry Potter...

...and the lucky cafe in which Rowling happened to be lunching in when the Eureka! moment struck.

And that's all for now!

Till then.

xoxo

a little something

2009-10-20T03:37:00.004+08:00

1. Mood:

More towards crappy. cramps in my stomach making me tired and grumpy. Where did all that exercising go? I thought it was supposed to help with cramps. shoot.

2. List three things currently inspiring you.

Nothing in particular. Does a steaming hot cup of ginger tea count?

3. Doing what now?

Listening to jazzy music and trying to figure out our thromboembolic workshop.

4. Gladiator sandals?

I'm alright with them. Though I'm starting to think boots are the coolest shoes invented ever. =)

5. Lips and cheeks:

I haven't been using much lipstick, usually it's a slick of my Loccitane lipbalm and I'm good to go. Currently using No7's mineral blusher in soft damson.

6. What’s one quality you like about yourself?

Being neat and tidy.

7. Fragrance?

Victoria Beckham's Intimately Beckham.

8. Name three ways you’ve changed in the last 10 years.

10 years before I was..13. Form 1. Apart from about gaining a shitload of textbook knowlegde over the years, I suppose I have become more independent, and care less about what people think of me.

9. Outfit?

Since I'm in my room now, it would be a sporty long sleeve top and knee length pants, and fluffy bedroom slippers.

10. Weekly goals:

To at least get a start on my introduction for my research paper! There's only so long a girl can procrastinate.

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

And autumn's here!

Apart from the fact that leaves are turning shades of yellow and red, cold glasgow just became even colder.

I woke up at 9am yesterday and there it was, on my laptop weather widget: 0 degrees!

But it wasn't as bad as I thought. Even without the heater on and only wearing a normal t-shirt, I felt perfectly comfortable. Or perhaps our hostel buildings have very good inbuilt heat-retaining properties.

Sometimes I think that this world is so much kinder to beautiful people.

Life is so much easier if you're beautiful. You get the largest piece of cake, people actually stop to listen to you when you talk, and complete strangers will be nicer to you. You get to choose other equally beautiful people to be your spouse, and your children will also be beautiful. You get promotions at work more often, and most probably you will end up with an easy workload than others.

No? You disagree?

Well. Guys, do you dare to say that if given a gorgeous model and a plain ugly (fat, thrown in for good measure) girl needed your help, which would you be more inclined to help?

Girls, if a gorgeous, tall, hunky guy and a slight, plain guy with acne asked you for your number, which would you be more happy to give it to?

See, we're all shallow after all. Just that we don't admit it.

That's why plain people have to work twice as hard as beautiful ones to get to the same place.

It's a fact. Sad but true.

That's why makeup companies and slimming centres will always be in business.

Just thinking. =)

Oh and if you feel like doing the meme on top, feel free to copy and paste the questions and put in your own answers. It's good for a filler post when you have nothing else to say. =)

xoxo

fate (or not!)

2009-10-17T07:15:00.002+08:00

Sorry I didn’t keep my part of the promise. Rome and the rest of Italy seems so far away now, I just can’t seem to find the mood (and time) to tell you about it. Once semester starts, the holidays just fall to the back of my mind. Ah well, probably those pictures and stories will see the light of the day, someday, when I have nothing better to blog about.

So.

I was chit-chatting over dinner with a few girlfriends.

And somehow our conversation turned into a debate of which was more important in a relationship: fate, or making it happen.

It’s like this.

Which do you believe in?

a. Successful relationships were meant to be. Fate decides everything.

b. Successful relationships are a result of our own efforts.

And I was the one supporting the second theory.

I do not deny that we need fate to intercede in order for people to meet, and perhaps like each other.

Why would we be great friends with someone and so-so with others?

This is because we were fated to be.

Actually fate doesn’t really explain it all. 缘分(yuan fen, or yuan) would be more accurate.

We become close to some people, fall in love with a few, and hate the rest, all because of yuan.

In short, yuan determines what goes on in our lives.

If we fall in love with someone and become a couple, then it’s because we have a lot of yuan.

If we like someone but didn’t progress that far, we blame it on having too little yuan.

If we hate someone just simply because, we say it’s bad yuan.

But is it right to leave everything to fate?

I don’t think so.

In my world, good things came to me because I actually made the effort to achieve them. Not by waiting around and blaming the lack of yuan when I don’t get what I want.

In short, I fully believe that ‘what you reap is what you sow’.

Of course I understand that there are no fixed rules when it comes to relationships. I understand that even if you love someone doesn’t mean that someone will love you back.

But then again, if you didn’t even make it known that you love that someone (ie court her/him lah!), how are you going to blame it on fate when others don’t even know that you fancy them?

Yes, I agree that it takes a certain amount of fate for people to meet, and for sparks to fly.

But if nothing more happens after that, then the fate doesn’t amount to anything now does it?

It is so much better to love and live, than not loving at all.

Even if it might hurt lots and then some, it would have been worth it.

I would rather have plunged right in and did something from my heart, than NOT to do it and regret after that.

I do not like to have ‘what if-s’ in my life.

What if I had gone on that date with him?

What if I had called him after the date instead of waiting for him to call? (what if he never did call?)

What if I had initiated the second date instead of waiting for him to do it?

What if I had told him I fancied him instead of waiting for him to do it?

What if?....

See, that’s my point.

We never know what’s going to happen the next step.

We are human after all, not God.

So why not live in exuberance instead of tiptoeing through life?

Of course, I am not saying that we plunge through life without thinking.

Obviously if something (or someone) was a bad idea, a little logical thinking would tell me that NOT going ahead is the better choice.

But if your head and heart says YES! why not just go ahead? rather than crack your head and think, oh long distance relationships are no good la, he’s not rich enough la, he’s not funny enough la, he doesn’t take out the trash la, etc.

Anyways, I digress.

My point is,

It is simply not enough to sit around and wait for someone to come across you, sitting there oh so demurely.

Rather, we should go out there, and take our pick from the mix! Throw out the good girl and snag a fab guy, and we shall see who gets the last laugh!

xoxo

p/s: actually I admit I’m somewhat a mix in between those two types. I sit at home all the time yet I still believe I should ‘make it happen’. So please do not laugh back at me when I eat my own words some time in the (near?) future. ha!

p/p/s: no, there is no guy on the horizon right now, unfortunately. this post was simply inspired by our after-dinner conversation, period.

part 2 - still paris

2009-09-28T05:57:00.018+08:00

It's amazing how movies can transform your views and image of a place.

I have just finished Angels and Demons (the movie). I read the book a long time ago so I couldn't really remember the exact details in it, but watching the movie AFTER visiting Rome and the Vatican city is totally a different experience altogether. I can never look at St Peter's square and the churches in the same light again.

Come to think of it, I should have watched it before going, but oh well...

And now I kind of understand why she loved the Fontana so much after 冲上云宵. You know who you are, ha!

Part 2 - still Paris!

Had my first taste of foie gras at Pub 38 Eiffel. This was actually foie gras with baked egg, and It. Is. So. Good! The liver had a slightlly musky tang to it, and the combination with baked egg was perfecto. But bear in mind that foie gras does not appeal to everyone.

the bill in a tin.

We visited the Père-Lachaise Cemetery on our third day in Paris, much to the chagrin of the guys in our group (or so I think). It hosted the graveyards of a medley of different famous people, but the one I wanted to see the most was that of Chopin.

But unfortunately we made a very costly mistake at the entrance.
We decided not to buy the map of the cemetery for the sake of being economical.
And?
We ended up in a wild goose chase around the cemetery, and failing miserably.
(and bringing our entire poor group members along..)
We had grossly underestimated the size of the graveyard, and the sheer number of graves in it.
In the end, we left the cemetery with painful feet (from all the pounding on the uneven pavement), aching legs, and not a sight of even ONE measly 'famous' grave.

one of the many angmohs who adores sunshine, unlike us poor asians

I had my first taste of macarons from a shop named Herve (I think), which apparently has won awards for its macarons. And it was really good! I wanted to get some from Laduree but..ah well. I just couldn't bring myself to pay 4 euros (RM20) for a single macaron which I probably could finish in 4 or 5 bites.

a lady with a hat musing on her own on the bench.....not! look carefully. it's actually a bronze figure!

Paris is said to be the city of romance. Well, I don't seem to see the romantic-ness about it. Glasgow is much more romantic to me. Paris is busy and noisy, and the streets are dirty (well, at least when compared to glasgow). That doesn't seem too romantic does it? The only thing romantic about the city is the people. They hug and kiss everywhere!

4th day is Disneyland day!
I am really not the best person to write about Disneyland day. I am not a child at heart after all.
Sin wee, would you like to be my guest blogger for the day?

my happy housemates. the one on the right is happier.

some random cute little girl who was dressed for the occasion

waiting in line for our first ride: Snow white!

side profile of Donald duck's I-forgot-her-name girlfriend.

that looks like some ancient 格格 punya headpiece from far

car stunts. it was AMAZING

ciplak HSM. I want Zac Efron!

I went to Disneyland and observed with a very logical heart and mind, and I got this conclusion.
Walt Disney is one helluva guy.
Did you know that Disney came very close to not existing in this world?
It is a perfect example of a blue ocean strategy.
The idea is novel, there was nothing like it, and there will be nothing quite like it in the future.
There is simply no comparison.
Even if there were to be another company producing cartoons and doing exactly what Disney does, it will never be quite like it.
Can you imagine a world without Disney?
I certainly can't.

Last day in Paris was off to Chateau de Versailles.

We paid 15 euros to enter the palace, but it was totally worth every penny.
As a matter of fact it is somewhat a cross between a museum and a palace. It was indeed a palace until the French revolution and the royal family ran away or something. I cannot remember the exact facts. Go wikipedia if you want more...

Next stop: Rome!

part 1 - paris

2009-09-24T21:10:00.007+08:00

And I'm back!

Really, I am afraid of updating everything after a really long holiday. The last 2 times I did (Hong Kong and KK trips) I ended up with a headache and giddiness, thanks to staring at my computer for so LONG a time. And lets not forget that I like to make collages out of my holiday photos. Now that really takes up a lot of energy!

I kept a little diary throughout those 17 days. it wasn't so much a diary of events; rather I think it was more of a memoir of my thoughts and feelings.

Am feeling a little lazy, so I'm going to keep this short.

+:+:+:+:+

Paris

We kind of lost our way the night we arrived in paris, and couldn't find our hotel. There were these two young parisian ladies who were SO helpful, they pored over the map with us and even called up the hotel itself to ask for directions, using their own cellphones!

Our hotel Andre Gill was actually quite nice. They served the same breakfast every morning (croissants and a hard bread, and coffee or tea), had 2 proud-looking cats, and a funny and helpful counter staff person. A few steps down the road and it was heaven for guys: the red-light district, ha! Moulin rounge was further down but we didn't go. Show me the money, man!

The first thing we did the next morning was to rush over to the Louvre as it was free admission day, which happens every first sunday of the month. I was slightly disappointed by the Mona Lisa painting. I did not understand the hype about it; I simply did not understand it. I am not an art student after all. Furthermore it was put behind a glass screen, and that decreased its magic somewhat.

The famous painting, blurred by my camera zoom....

...which we managed to get to the very front after battling the crowd.

Altogether now guys, stare down at your, erm...instruments?

doing the karen cheng using the powder table of a famous person...I think it was one of the French kings.

posing like him...not!

I find this kind of disturbing. How they managed to pose that way for the artist, is really beyond me.

Then, we went to the Orsay museum, for free again. Yay!

This painting is on my Chopin music scorebook which I used for 5 years+.

And then, Eiffel tower!

...and someone yelled in delight when she saw this, hehehe.

Then,

...both which I covet, but cannot afford. le sigh.

Diary musings excerpts:

We are all independent, yet interdependent too. There is no such thing as minding our own business. Others' business are also our business.
Had my first taste of foie gras! It is SO good. The liver had a slightly musky tang to it, and the combination with baked egg was perfect.
I like my new Loccitane Cherry blossom fragrance!

To be continued...

xoxo

see you in 2.5 weeks' time!

2009-09-05T06:53:00.003+08:00

And that's because I'll be leaving for Paris + Italy today at noon.

I think I've grown to be fairly blase about going on trips abroad.
Perhaps I've been to too many places that left me somewhat..disappointed.

I still remember I used to be SO excited when I went on trips with my parents when I was young.
I'd literally squeal and jump for joy the day before leaving, and I'd be too excited to sleep.
And I used to be so amazed by everything I saw.
Even the ice cream in foreign lands seemed loads better than homegrown ones.
(but to their credit, New Zealand DOES produce really good ice cream. Must be their milk I think.)

I used to be so excited about how my photos would turn out, how I would look in them, and whether people thought our photos were nice.
I used to insist on bringing back a bunch of souvenirs from every place I visited.
And I used to have so much fun reminiscing about my trip long after I returned.

But I'm not like that anymore.
Perhaps I've grown out of the excitement of going on holidays.
Or perhaps I've just grown up.

Now, I feel the most important thing about holidays abroad, is the feel itself.
I want to cherish every moment, every thing, and every person I see.
I want to immerse myself in the locals' life.
I want the feel of the place I'm visiting to permeate every cell of my body.

I remember when I first arrived in Glasgow, I like to imagine myself as Elizabeth Bennet or Jane Eyre in the midst of the medieval styled buildings Glasgow is famous for.
I like to imagine how life would be like for those who lived in Pollock House, how the servants would bustle around serving the ladies and gentlemen, how the ladies would walk, hand in hand, around the grounds of the garden, how they'd laugh gently at each other's jokes.

I'm not really interested in how many pictures I take.
Rather, I want each and every picture I take to be a remembrance of a memory I had in that place, at that time.
I want to write down my thoughts when I come across interestings things.
I want to eat as the locals do, and taste every morsel with my tongue and let the delight wash over me, and lodges in a part of my brain, never to be forgotten.

I want to experience a place my way.
And that, to me, is what really matters.

So, as they would say,
Let the fun begin! =)

xoxo

missing home.

2009-08-28T08:03:00.003+08:00

Exams are finally over.
But I cannot bring myself to be in the 'holiday mode'.
I can't help but think about my exams. And their outcome.
I want to pass my exams.
I just want to PASS.
Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I feel I have lowered my expectations way too low.
But if doing my best is not even enough to give me a pass....
I just want to pass.
Pretty please?

I woke up this morning.
Listened to a few emo-ish songs.
And started crying.
Because the songs made me think of home.
I miss home.
I miss my parents.
I miss the feeling of being on home soil.
I am getting tired of being a foreigner, here.

We went to Lung Fung for dinner tonight.
Ate a lot of chinese food.
Sang a lot of chinese songs.
(actually 'a lot' in this case is somewhat an underestimation!)
And for those 5 hours we were in our private room, I felt like I was back in Malaysia.
No blonde hair, no blue eyes, no haggis, no scottish english.
Just us one big bunch of friends, the food we were so familiar with, and the songs we used to love so much.
And in that 5 hours, I felt....normal. Again.
And I really, really liked that.

I never thought being 'home' would mean so much to me.
But now, I just want to be home.

p/s: if you were wondering, the picture above is a view of my desk. Neat and tidy and just the way I want it to be.

WWHAM

2009-08-17T05:36:00.002+08:00

Who? Me.
What are the symptoms? Nausea and vomiting, tachycardia, headaches.
How long? Since a week ago.
Action taken? Rubbed hong yiu on my temples and drank ginger tea.
Medicines? Paracetamol.

Diagnosis?
Semester 6 FMT1 and FMT2 finals.
(and perhaps PP3 feedback next tuesday.)

Professional decision making: Do not give any medicines to patient, symptoms will subside on wednesday.

^-^

because I have a duty to assure my readers that I'm still alive.

2009-07-29T19:30:00.002+08:00

Yes, I know I've been very silent these days.
No, I haven't been abducted by aliens or kidnapped.

I just have been using my brain a lot more than usual.

And by a lot, I really mean A LOT.

Well, I (or rather, the whole of P107) have been rushing lab reports, preparing for FMT1 and PP3 tests, and getting a whole lot of pimples along the way.

FMT test was...okay I think.

PP3 was okay too.......I think? *thinks a little harder*
I mean, I did all that I was supposed to do, and as far as I can see I have not killed any pseudo patients of mine. Yet.
So hopefully this time I'll have a positive mark on my paper.

How pathetic right.
The first time I told my parents this, they were like, "Um, you mean you hope you'll pass, right?"
Then I go, "No, I mean I hope I'll get positive marks. Like, the opposite of negative?"
Talk about lowering my standards!

And the other reason I haven't have had much to say recently is because...well, there really isn't a lot to say, actually.
Life's been uniform, but not unhappy. I've been keeping busy and that's good.

+:+:+:+:+

I've been thinking about this lately.

Is it right to base our opinions of someone, purely on others' opinions of that person?
I mean, what they say might (or might not) be true of that person.
So should we decide what sort of a person he/she is, based on those second-hand facts?

Like, if people around you tell you that this person (let's call him Jim) likes to borrow money without paying them back.
So do you believe them, and decline to lend Jim any money because of that?
Or if you choose not to believe people and you want to see the truth for yourself. Then you lend Jim some money. What is he pays you back promptly? Does that mean all those people were liars?

That's why I have always been very careful not to label any person or tell any tales. Though some of them may be true, I always prefer to talk good about everyone. And if that person is really a bad person, I suppose others would find it out in good time.

You may say, oh I should warn other people about this person's faults so they won't be taken in, but then again who am I to decide who is a good person and who's the bad guy?
I mean, no one's 100% good or bad, are they?
Much as we like to put everything, including people, in neat little boxes labelled black or white, very often that is not the case in real life. All of us are in the same box, the same grey box, aren't we?

Till the next time I have spare time on my hands (and that may be in a loooong time),

xoxo

ahh.

2009-07-07T00:01:00.003+08:00

So yesterday evening a very kind soul brought us out for tapas and paella. A fantassimmo dinner we had there!

(btw, this is the same very kind soul who cooked lunch for us today. muahaha.)

Anyways, as we were walking back in the semi-dark glasgow night.
We stopped at George Square.
And I was staring at the Glasgow City Chambers, lit up brilliantly against the backdrop of a cool glaswegian evening.

And it struck me.

All this while, I have been quite blase about coming to study in Scotland.
To me, it didn't feel much different from home, except for the weather.
It was like studying in a cold KL to me.

But as I gawked at the buildings yesterday night, it hit me.

I'm in Glasgow!

This is scottish soil I'm stepping on.

And, it was like, a million lightbulbs suddenly lit up in my mind.
I'm here!
I'm studying in UK!
I'm living THE dream of many.

It's difficult to explain exactly what I felt yesterday, at that Eureka! moment.

I guess the feeling of stepping on foreign soil is particularly intense when I'm on 'holiday' mode.
But not in 'study' mode.

I'll have to learn to appreciate my time here more.
In time, I'll learn to love Glasgow.
I hope. =)

maid horror

2009-07-02T02:59:00.004+08:00

By the time this post comes out, many of my friends would probably have heard the story of my fantastic maid (hear my sarcasm dripping?). But I'll tell it here anyway, people out there need to know!

Well.
It started with my parents bringing home RM10,000 from the bank.
(If you're wondering, the money is now safely in the bank again. No need to go rob my house.)
The very next morning, they took the money out and only RM8000 was left.
Takan RM2000 disappeared overnight?!
Since the only people left in my home are my parents and our maid of 8 years, the obvious culprit would seem like the latter.
So my parents confronted her. She denied.
Then they went to her room and searched. No money found.
Then they contacted the maid agency. An agent was dispatched to our house to search again.
Guess what?

The agent found RM4000 in my maid's baju sembahyang.

And,
That's not all!

She also found a knife hidden under my maid's mattress in her room!

It was the very same knife we thought had 'hilang' some time ago.

After that, the maid confessed that she had duplicated the key to our drawer, which we usually put our cash in. How she managed to do it is still a mystery to us.
(p/s: obviously now the drawer is no longer used for that purpose. Who knows how many copies of the keys were made by her?!)

Considering the fact that we have had her for about 8 years, I really don't know how much money exactly was filched from us over the years. I don't even dare to think about it. And this RM4000 was stolen from us in the 2 weeks she returned from her hometown in Surabaya. Only god knows how much she must have 'transported' home.

The sad thing about this whole game is that, our maid is actually quite a good one. She has singlehandedly run our household for the past 8 years, doing everything that needs to be done in our house. Although sometimes she will be a little lazy, for most of the time she is indispensable in our house.

Ah well. Thank goodness I had the good luck to be in scotland when the drama unfolded.

Now the difficult issue is to get another maid (or not!).
You see, my grandma is staying with us. And she wants a maid to keep her company when we're not at home. She's always paranoid that she'll fall down or have a heart attack or something when she's alone and no one would be around to help her.
But apparently Indonesian maids are now not allowed into malaysia now, according to some new ruling in our country.
So I don't know what's gonna happen now.
I can only hope for the best.

+:+:+:+:+:+

Life is SUPER BUSY oh my god!

Sometimes I feel like an express bus which had to run back and forth from Singapore to Perlis continuously for the past 2 weeks and hadn't had time to rest at all.

There is no time to cram all the information we've learnt into our brains, and before we know it, there's more new information to be learnt!

*prays hard that I'll be exempted from PP3*

Till my first PP3 class test,

xoxo

Dose of glasgow is safe, appropriate and effective

2009-06-16T00:48:00.010+08:00

Ahhh.
The green green grass of glasgow!

The weather is beautiful, the people nice, and you won't believe how amazingly gorgeous the guys here are.

Scotland is already working its magic on me.

Of course, my skin is peeling like a papery onion, and the conversion rate is sky-high, and finding cheap food is a little difficult when you're spending pounds on a ringgit income.

But I still love it.

It's my 6th day here, and I'm still happy. =)

Okay, so my hostel room is super tiny and my bed is facing the bedroom door directly, which is supposed to be a no-no in fengshui. But since there's nothing I can do about it, I'll just have to live with it I guess. Or perhaps fengshui doesn't apply here. But the room is cosy, and everything is working nicely.

I'm still not missing home....yet.

I love the fact that I can go out a whole day in the sun and not sweat!

I love my Lebara number. Free calls, woohoo!

I love the lecturers here. Well, some of them, at least.

I love the buildings here. It's like they've come right out of an Austen book!

I love putting on a sweet-smelling moisturiser and not feel icky or sticky after that.

I love the FAST internet!

And I don't really have much more to say.

So, till next time!

xoxo