It's been a long time. Too long, in fact. I'm a lousy blogger indeed!
It was my '2 year working anniversary' three days ago. And unfortunately, I feel like a jaded public servant already.
Recap: I am currently working as a manufacturing pharmacist in Penang General Hospital (HPP). Remember in my last post I said the BF was transferred to HPP and I was sad? Yeah. By a twist of fate, I was also sent to the exact same hospital 6 months after he was. So yeah, we are kind of reunited.
Except for the fact that it has been too long since my last update, and he's no longer in HPP. He quit in view of bluer skies and greener pastures.
Working in HPP is a big challenge. I do not want to say too much about work here for fear of putting myself in trouble. But then, if I'm not going to talk about work, what exactly am I going to write? I really don't know.
Can't write about work. (Don't wanna get into trouble, can only talk bad hahaha)
Can't write about the BF. (if I say something good about him, it's not going to be of any use cos he never reads this. If I say bad things about him, well...what was it that they say about washing our laundry in public?)
Can't write about life. (I have no life! sigh)
Which is exactly why I have not posted here since more than a year ago.
For now, everything seems to be going well. And by that I mean no big problems are jumping out at me for the moment. But somehow, I feel...dissatisfied. Like, there's more to life than this. There's more to life than my current life. But if you don't know what you're missing, how are you going to go about searching for it?
I wish for a more innocent and caring workplace. (not gonna happen, can't do anything about it)
I wish for a more interesting life. (interesting like how? bungee jump?)
I wish for a more meaningful life. (and join the Peace Corps?)
Oh dear. I can't even write a proper blog now.
I want to go live in Switzerland!
Friday, September 21, 2012
hello everyone..again
Posted by xoxo at Friday, September 21, 2012 0 comments
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
blessings
So today I was clerking my CP1 forms, and chatting to the patients as usual. Somehow I feel patients take to me very easily, I ask them for their previous medications and they can talk to me about everything under the sun! Which can be a bother sometimes when I'm trying to finish all the CP1s for all newly admitted patients, and I haven't really learnt the art of extricating myself from a conversation, and I feel like a rude person if I have to ask the person to stop talking.
Posted by xoxo at Wednesday, April 06, 2011 1 comments
Saturday, February 19, 2011
重色轻blog
Posted by xoxo at Saturday, February 19, 2011 2 comments
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
on work, again.
Dear all, I think I will soon be reduced to posting here once a month. Working life is not exactly the most exciting thing to write about, as most of my friends have already started working or will be starting soon, and I don't want you guys to have to go to work eight hours a day and come home and read about work again, do I?
Posted by xoxo at Tuesday, October 26, 2010 2 comments
Thursday, September 30, 2010
work, two weeks in.
Dear all, it's been two weeks since I started my career as a pharmacist. How fast time goes by, a blink of the eye and I've been working for two weeks. Two weeks! I remember how awful I felt the first day at work, I didn't know anyone and didn't know what was expected of me, and what I was supposed to do. I started off with labelling, and then filling, and dispensing. Now I rotate between all three, depending on the number of prescriptions flowing in and the people available at that time.
Posted by xoxo at Thursday, September 30, 2010 0 comments
Saturday, September 18, 2010
a new place, a new life
Dear all, I have been posted to Hospital Seri Manjung, in Sitiawan, a small town very near Lumut and about 1.5 hours from Ipoh. I have just got the news on Friday, by which then I immediately rushed to JKN to report, so I'll be starting work on Monday. I think there was too little time for me to digest the information that I'll be starting a whole new chapter of my life in a whole new place, so much so that when it finally sank in, it felt terrible. I thought I have learnt to mute my heart towards such things, I don't think I have felt much even when I knew I was to enter the national service, or before leaving home for Glasgow. I would like to think it is just another normal part of life, at which I'm supposed to work, earn money, support and take care of myself, without all the people that I've been used to. I will be there without my parents, my best mates, and all will be new to me in that place. I want to think I'll be alright, and I thought I was strong enough. But somehow I still feel scared sometimes at the prospect. I am scared of the unknown, and I think a new job, a new place, and new people to deal with would make enough unknowns to make anyone scared. Ever since a long time, this is the first where I don't quite know what to expect, and I don't really know what to do.
Posted by xoxo at Saturday, September 18, 2010 4 comments
Thursday, September 9, 2010
this is your life.
Posted by xoxo at Thursday, September 09, 2010 1 comments
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
something for all my friends...or maybe not ALL. =)
那次受伤 否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照 我一切都好
一个人 不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现 在眼角
那次流过的泪 让我学习到
如何祝福 如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到 与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要 是一种对照
能愿意为了一份爱
付出去多少
然后得到多少 并不计较
当我想清楚的时候
我就算已经准备好
放手去爱 海阔天高
Posted by xoxo at Tuesday, September 07, 2010 3 comments
Friday, September 3, 2010
updates, I'm not dead!
Dear all, I'm sorry it has been months (longest hiatus ever!) since I posted. Mostly that stemmed from the fact that I've been doing very little besides rotting at home, and also partly because I just don't feel the urge to write about my boring, boring life without boring the rest of you. But anyway.
Posted by xoxo at Friday, September 03, 2010 0 comments
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
graduation, and emo-ness.
I wish I could be one of those unbearably positive people who will say that leaving university is a fresh start to the rest of our lives, and they have high hopes for the future, and such. But I am not.
Instead, I feel an immense sadness. I am sad to leave the major part of my life behind, where I spent most, if not all, my time facing books and exams. I am sad to leave my dear, dear friends with whom I have built a strong bond in these past few years. Indeed I can say, the best friends of my life were made during university life. But then again, a lot of my life has yet to come so I cannot say that for sure…yet. I am also sad to leave the part of my life where I do not have to worry about money and putting food on the table. I feel a little terrified that the money I use in the future, will come from me and myself alone, and I will no longer be able to ask my parents for money should the whim to buy something new and shiny comes along. I will have to carve out portions of my salary and spend it with care, and will also have to scrimp and save a certain amount of money every month to prepare for rainy days (ie. angpau money for friends’ weddings!). I feel sad to leave this place, the place where I spent the busiest yet happiest year of my life. Strangely I feel sad to bid farewell to the gloomy weather in
My parents flew in to attend my graduation, and they will be leaving tomorrow. I am really happy to see my parents, after six months of talking to them on skype. Not seeing them for an extended time made me even the more aware of the fact that they are not getting any younger as the years go by. I almost forgot how nice it feels to be fussed over by them, and to be able to fuss over them. I am so glad that they did not heed my advice to NOT come to my graduation, because I felt so happy that they are here to share the moment with me. My dad was forever the social butterfly, he was making his way around the crowd of parents and making friends along the way. The most I can summon myself to do is to nod and smile at strangers. I am not cut out to become a PR personnel after all.
Besides feeling sad, I also feel emptiness. An emptiness that stems from my indecisiveness as to where to head after graduating and what to do with the rest of my life. I do not intend to stop studying at this point but I am unsure where to proceed after this degree. Masters of Pharmacy is the obvious choice in our case, but I do not feel an inclination strong enough to sustain me through another two years of studying something that I feel for only half-heartedly. I thought about studying fashion or interior design, my original options in high school, but where would that lead me? Carving my way in the fashion world is no mean feat and I really do not think that I am well suited to that world of air-kisses and frivolity. Another obvious option`is, well, to get married and have kids and take care of them for the rest of my life but that doesn’t seem too appealing for now. I mean I know that will come sooner or later but it isn’t really a good plan to fall back on now is it?
Posted by xoxo at Tuesday, July 06, 2010 2 comments