Tuesday, October 26, 2010

on work, again.

Dear all, I think I will soon be reduced to posting here once a month. Working life is not exactly the most exciting thing to write about, as most of my friends have already started working or will be starting soon, and I don't want you guys to have to go to work eight hours a day and come home and read about work again, do I?

But, besides work, I really have not much else to say. Sigh.

Yesterday was my first time working on a night shift in outpatient. I certainly didn't get off to a great start, as I was supposed to work from 5-10pm. I overslept (afternoon nap of course, not from the night before!) and woke up at 4.45pm. Jumped up from my bed and jumped into the car, literally, and rushed to the hospital but still ended up being five minutes late. I'd set my alarm at 4 for me to eat and bathe so I didn't get to do any of that. (Eww, I know!)

Working at night is boring. Period. There was only me and one pembantu farmasi so there wasn't much conversation possible, and the prescriptions kept flowing in though it was already night. And most of the prescriptions are the same: PCM, syrups, antibiotics, the works. It didn't help that I had a throbbing headache from waking up too abruptly (yeah, it happens to me) and a growling stomach. Not a good night indeed...

And! I will be having my oncall a few weeks later. For some reason we got scheduled for oncalls earlier than the more 'senior' prps, and I have only been attached to opd and drug info so far, so I had to learn everything latest by this week. And of course, practise my driving skills at night, and practise driving while I'm groggy (assuming that I'll get called in the middle of the night). One week of sleep deprivation certainly does not sound fun, but thankfully our hospital has so many prps that we'll probably get a week of oncall in 3 months perhaps, which is wonderful!

Working life is growing on me. But I find myself gradually losing my hopes and dreams the longer I work. I want to keep my dreams alive, no matter what. I don't intend to become a cog in the wheel, churning out the expected results eight hours a day, five days a week. But sometimes I really don't know what I really want.

Actually, I do. I just want to be happy, and to make a difference. I just haven't figured out how to do that.