do you do this?

It's surprising how most of us treat the ones we love most, the worst.

I have come to realise this ever since my parents came to Glasgow to visit, and my housemates had a simple but profound observation:

I was much more polite to my housemates and friends than I was to my parents.

I didn't quite believe it at first. I even tried to justify it by thinking that it was normal, that I've spoken to them in this way my whole life, and this was just the way we communicated. I was in denial.

But after giving it some thought (okay, make it a LOT of thought), I realised it was true.

I realised that I'd always had this misconception that I had to treat my friends good because, well, they're my friends and if I'm nasty to them, they would take off in no time, simply because they can!

But my parents are, well, my parents and we're obliged to love each other no matter what horrible things we do or whatever awful things we say.

I always felt that my parents would always be there for me, and there was no need to 'suck up' to them because they would love me for who I am, because I'm their one and only daughter.

Having said that, by no means I'm saying that I suck up to my friends. I just have to hold my tongue many a time when I know that saying it would make them annoyed, or angry. (but sometimes I still slip off the edge and say stuff I was not supposed to say. I believe my 'straight guts' have offended many a friend sometimes...)

When I have issues, or when I'm sad, I offload to my parents. I dump my bad feelings and emotions on them because I know I can. I know I won't have to worry about them thinking badly of me because if they're not there for me when I need it, who else will be?

When I'm annoyed or angry, I am not afraid to show my parents how I really feel, because I know I will not be judged. I know some of my friends have said that I 'have no temper' but it's just because I prefer to keep things nice and sunny between friends. I don't like confrontations because I know once there has been just one, things will never be the same again. (but then again I must say that my friends are an awesome bunch of people, and there has never been situations where I was truly mad at them, touchwood. =P You people know I love you.)

What my normal friends and acquaintances see is the sunny side of me. What the people close to me see, is the whole package, the flaws, the temper, and of course the smiles. Most of the time it's just the smiles, because I don't get upset or angry often, but you can be sure that when I am, the people close to me will see the bad part of me.

So does that make me a bad person? If we truly love the people close to us shouldn't the situation be reversed? Let them see the sunny side, keep them happy and show the bad side to people who are not close to us? Since love is supposed to make people happy and not to upset or burden them further.

But then again, isn't love about 'in sickness or health, for better or worse'? We love people because we love them for who they are, warts and all. Not because they are nice to us, buy us things or give us money.

Another thought I had was that if we truly loved the people we claimed to, we would keep our sorry side to ourselves and show only the happy and nice side of ourselves to them. I mean, they would certainly be happier (without our emo-ness and issues and burdens) and if they're happy, wouldn't that make us happy as well?

So does that mean, in a nutshell, that the 'bad' side of ourselves can only be kept hidden in our hearts, never to see the light of the day?

I don't know.

But I am constantly trying to treat my parents and close friends as well as I possibly can. I know that if I tell them something or do stuff that is going to hurt them, I''d prefer not to say that if I can. I mean, I would want to feel happy when I'm around them, so why not vice versa?

I don't know if this is feasible in the real world. I mean, I would probably still need to complain to my parents once in a while to keep my sanity, and there will be times when I slip and hurt them just that bit. But I can try to keep those to a minimum, can't I?

After all, that's what love is all about anyway.

听说

这是一部好电影.

干净, 简单, 感动.

非常值得一看.

我喜欢. =)

p/s: this taiwan-based movie will not be screened in UK for obvious reasons. That's what ppstream is for. Don't say I didn't tell you.

sweet.

This was what greeted me when I opened my bedroom door first thing today morning.

On closer inspection....

and,

Cheers to my happy housemates. I love you too, ya know. =)

p/s: my fingers are still tightly crossed. PP3, thou shalt not haunt my dreams any longer, please?

I don't need proof to show I'm growing older. my friends do that for me.

Just a quick post before I've to continue studying for the drat pp3!

I had a lovely birthday, thanks to my funny friends.

The blessed people took me out for dinner at Kokuryo (now changed to another name) for dinner, then brought out the surprise cake at 12am! And of course the gift. I was surprised at that too, because it was a little..erm, expensive. hehehe. But a million thanks to all my friends anyway, you know I love you.

the present & birthday card. lovely!

the housemates-cum-cakebakers!! love you lots!! muaxxxx

the lenglui neighbours.

downstairs neighbours + faithful gym buddy. =)

next door neighbours. youzee, why so funny? =)

me looking exasperated, & weiluen looking embarrassed. no thanks to the photographer(s). =P

@kokuryo

And thus marks another year of my life. No longer a girl, not yet a woman. And still figuring out myself as always. That's what's called life, eh? =)

p/s: I won't be posting the rest of the photos till after pp3. do forgive me! but thanks mucho to my 2 lovely photographers Jane& Chingyik. =)

the obligatory new year post + london!

Happy 2010 peeps!!!

The housemates and I went to London to celebrate the ushering in of a brand new decade.

(besides ushering in the new year, I too ushered in a cold and newfound eczema. dang!)

cheers! to a new year, and fantastic korean food in london. =)

Unlike our other trips, we decided to have a chillin' time in London instead of rushing around like headless chickens everyday from dawn to midnight. We spent most of our time around good food and great shopping, less on the obligatory tourist spots.

Speaking of good food, here goes:

super spicy seafood udong @ assa

roti canai and teh tarik @ malaysian hall

crispy duck rice @ gold mine bayswater

hakka mee + bubur chacha @ malaysian kopitiam

lobster noodles @ I-forgot-the-name-restaurant bayswater. ooh la la....

I know, I know. Why all the Asian food in London? =)

Well, we missed malaysian food after all. And the korean restaurant had come highly recommended. (I too highly recommend it! just order the normal version, not the spicy udong. I nearly spat fire at my dinner mates after eating half of it.)

To be fair, all the food we had in London tasted incredible to our starved-for-asian-food tastebuds. It was really, really good. Perhaps we shall visit London again someday for a culinary trip, eh? *winks at Irene* =)

In an attempt to make our job easier (okay, to be fair it was Sinwee's for most of the time), we went on 2 local walking tours to explore London's tourist spots. Easy peasy!

Random photos from the trip coming up. I'm too lazy (and yucky sleepy sniffly) to elaborate.

chinatown. does anyone know how the first chinese character from the left is pronounced?

sell heong peng in malaysia at this price (4.5pounds=25ringgit) and people will say you're a madman.

covent garden

trafalgar square

buckingham palace, waiting for the royal exchange of guards

big tower with big ben inside, with cold wet me outside. brrrr...

parliament house, amazing architecture.

clock of court used in harry potter. looks familiar huh?

tower bridge

and the dreaded london tower. pity anne boleyn's ghost didn't bid us welcome that night. perhaps it was too cold even for the dead, much lesser the living.

And of course, the countdown@London Eye!!

28 seconds to go.....

9....

1!.....

HAPPY 2010!!!!!!!

And of course, this shall be my first and last live countdown. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience, once is more than enough!

We arrived at the viewing area before 9pm, found a spot and stood in the same spot for the next three hours. Add to the equation a temperature of below freezing point (well, it certainly felt that way to me then) and not getting to pee for the entire time, is NOT a recipe for fun! Well, if it was any consolation we certainly did get a good view of the fireworks after 3 hours of playing ice statue. Absolutely priceless.

+:+:+:+:+:+:+

The smile pockets a rattling controversy.

The laugh makes people smile back at you.

The frown never maketh friends any.

Confused? Don't be. I'm just trying out something, which will be revealed in good time. =)