Sunday, February 1, 2009

CNY musings

The chinese new year is not a time for me. It never was.

As a kid, I never enjoyed CNY, not even the angpau part. Somehow I always felt more embarrased than happy when receiving angpaus, though now I am better able to appreciate them, in light of the recession. Not because I'd have more money to spend, but because I am thankful for their well-wishes that come with the little red packet, and thankful for the angpau givers, that they are still able to afford giving out angpaus in these hard times. I feel relieved that my relatives and my parents' friends are still doing reasonably well to be able to afford CNY. I've heard of worse.

Cloudy, rainy days always makes me emo.
And today, chor chat, is a cloudy day in Vista.

I am emo-ing because my parents have just left me in Vista to return to Ipoh. I'm already missing them and they have only just left! That's why I don't like going home. Cos I always feel like shit when I have to come back to KL. I feel like I've been dug up, roots and all, literally. I feel sad. I feel like crying. Or maybe I'm pms-ing. I don't know.

I am emo-ing because it is becoming clearer that time is ticking. Fast. My uncles and aunts are growing older and my cousins are already holding their firstborns in their arms. Another cousin almost my age is getting married soon. My kiddy cousins are already in secondary school. One of my relatives just passed on. I didn't get to meet my closest cousin this CNY cos she's in Leeds this year. Everyone and everything is changing so fast I can't even keep up! I'm overwhelmed by the changes that are happening, whatever happened to those good old days?

*to digress a little: I really admire my cousin, one of the two who gave birth last year. She and her husband were a couple since their high school days and they have been going out for what, 10 years? I think she's around 26 or 27 this year. She was his first love, and he her first. I love it that they are still so much in love even after so many years of being together. I have always envied couples that started when they were still in school, it feels so much more innocent that way. They are not concerned about how much money their partner makes, how big their partner's car or house is, and how high their position in the company. It's like, they're together simply because they love each other. They're there because they want to be there. Not that I'd only accept a CEO for a future husband, but I feel somehow as we grow older, the innocence that once was, gets lost in the churn of our daily lives, one way or other. If you met someone in school that you could really consider your soulmate, as I see it, you probably can consider it equivalent to striking the lottery, 10 times over.

And of course, I'm emo-ing because I have gained 1kg over CNY! Dang!


Alright then, lest you become emo after reading all that, here's a little something from our CNY conversations that got stuck in my head. If you can, read this out loud, it sounds better that way.



Enjoy the remaining 8 days of CNY peeps! =)