missing home.

Exams are finally over.
But I cannot bring myself to be in the 'holiday mode'.
I can't help but think about my exams. And their outcome.
I want to pass my exams.
I just want to PASS.
Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I feel I have lowered my expectations way too low.
But if doing my best is not even enough to give me a pass....
I just want to pass.
Pretty please?


I woke up this morning.
Listened to a few emo-ish songs.
And started crying.
Because the songs made me think of home.
I miss home.
I miss my parents.
I miss the feeling of being on home soil.
I am getting tired of being a foreigner, here.


We went to Lung Fung for dinner tonight.
Ate a lot of chinese food.
Sang a lot of chinese songs.
(actually 'a lot' in this case is somewhat an underestimation!)
And for those 5 hours we were in our private room, I felt like I was back in Malaysia.
No blonde hair, no blue eyes, no haggis, no scottish english.
Just us one big bunch of friends, the food we were so familiar with, and the songs we used to love so much.
And in that 5 hours, I felt....normal. Again.
And I really, really liked that.


I never thought being 'home' would mean so much to me.
But now, I just want to be home.



p/s: if you were wondering, the picture above is a view of my desk. Neat and tidy and just the way I want it to be.