Sunday, October 5, 2008


So I was browsing through profiles on facebook, and came across an old friend’s.

I can’t say we were really close, but we came into each other’s lives a long time kindergarten if I’m not mistaken.

And I was looking at the photos, including a few that was of a group of my friends in high school (including her).

And it struck me.

No matter how it may seem now, nothing is permanent.

Everything, and everyone, continues to change. And nothing can stop it.

(yes, not even SKII will stop the increasing number of wrinkles on one’s face…not that I have any yet though )

It seemed like such a long time ago, when we were barely in our teens, frolicking in the class and bitching about the teachers. At that time, the most important thing in our lives seemed to be centered on getting more than 90marks for our monthly tests, decorating the class noticeboard (to win the weekly deco prize), and figuring out how to wear our hair without being ‘kena tangkap’ by the prefects.

For me, I had another thing to worry about, in extension from the list: To ‘get into’ a group of friends. A clique, in other words. But that’s another story for another day, if I’m in the mood…

And yes, I had a soft spot for prefects, and I was forever having ‘crushes’ on them. Especially when I was in my early secondary school years. And yes, those prefects are girls, like me. =)

(For those from co-ed schools, in girls schools like mine, same-sex crushes are much more common than you think.)

I remember eagerly awaiting them to come patrol our class after recess, and stole many glances at them, their ‘wei feng-ness’, how they walked, how they talked, and secretly aspired to be exactly like them ‘when I grow up’.

But for the record, I supposed that didn’t really work, I don’t think I managed to emulate them in the end..I am still my own goofy self, forever stumbling over things…..and my words, to my embarrassment.

So back to my friends. I realised all of them have changed soooo much since our (nerdy) schooldays. Ok, maybe some of them were not really nerdy, but hey, look at them now! I mean, we actually look like a bunch of 20-year-olds! Bizarre as it sounds, my schoolday friends will forever remain in my mind as teen-aged. Definitely not what I see now: gorgeous long tumbling locks of hair (permed and dyed, no doubt), pretty makeup and clothes, and most of all, the looks on each of their faces seem to tell a different life story.

And it still surprises me to see that they have actually kept in close contact after all these years. Granted, friendship should not stop the moment we stop seeing each other everyday, but somehow I seemed to have lost contact with them since the last day of SPM, when I stepped out of high school and never looked back. It didn't help that I went to study in a college where none of my schoolmates had even heard of, and away from home to boot! And it has also occurred to me that I have been subconsciously trying to push my memories of high school to the back of my mind the minute I learnt I got into the college. My days in high school, though not horrible to the extent of me calling in sick just to escape going to class, but they weren't exactly....deliriously happy either. I don't really know how to explain it. I had nice friends, my teachers liked me, and I was performing relatively well in school, but somehow, I wasn't happy.

When I started college with a completely new bunch of friends, I actually feel that I'm...happy. Satisfied, maybe. Really, I felt happier since college, and now that I'm in uni, the happiness is still there. Although I'm struggling a little with my studies, more than in high school, and I'm living away from my hometown, I still feel happy.

Anyway. Then I browsed through my old friends' profiles, realised that many of them are 'in a relationship', some of them started working (already!), and some of them were adjusting happily in another country, and all of us involved in different fields of study or careers. I mean, who'd
have thought we'd come this far, when we were still in our school uniforms?

Oh well. That's a lot of stuff about nothing, essentially.
Just thought I had to blow off some steam from 2 weeks of continuous studying and cramming lots of funny drug names in brain.
Bloggin is therapeutic. Really. =)

Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in another post before the semester finals.

Till then!