of gunpowder and fireworks

5th of November is Guy Fawkes' night, to celebrate the downfall of the gunpowder plot to bring down the Parliament Houses in London.

5th of November is also a night of extravagant fireworks display all around UK.

And we joined in the fun at Glasgow Green!

I didn't actually understand the significance of the celebration at first, I just went along for the fireworks. And boy, was it amazing indeed!

No pictures, videos or words can describe the feeling of watching fireworks burst into golden rings and stars right above your head.

It's like a miracle unfolding right in front of your eyes.

I loved every second of it.

+:+:+:+:+

I thought my research project was going to be a breeze, but I guess I was wrong.

Since I'm not a chemistry major, doing a research in advanced pure chemistry is no laughing matter.

My chemistry background is, unfortunately, limited to daddy's home tuition and bits and pieces of whatever little we learnt back in physical pharmacy. Or was it?...

It is like throwing a primary school kid into university and asking him to graduate with flying colours.

More than half the time, I'm actually trying to figure out what's going on above my head.

The other half, I'm furiously learning up on co-crystals and related information, trying to cram everything into my little brain in the least time possible.

I really want to produce at least one co-crystal from this project.

Initially (when I didn't know ANYTHING) I thought I would be able to make 3 co-crystals out of my materials.

Then when we actually started doing stuff, I realised how extremely difficult it is to make even ONE measly co-crystal.

Le sigh. Why does science have to be so elusive (and boring...at times).

Adding to my pressure is the fact that my lecturer in charge is one specialised in co-crystals, and I really don't want to disappoint him (and myself!)

还真的有拉牛上树的感觉.

怎么办?

invaders...

...or are we?

I don't know if you've watched this episode of Grey's. It's about the merging of two hospitals and the first day of work when doctors and nurses and other health personnel from two different environments come together and work together.

Because the series is based in Seattle Grace hospital, naturally it would depict the people from the other hospital as invaders. Basically what the series was trying to say was that the SG people found the 'invaders' to be annoying, irritating, and at times, infuriating. All because the people had come to 'their' hospital to work with them.

I think the concept was that SG somewhat belonged to them, and they didn't like it when outsiders who were not welcome, came.

Then it made me wonder.

Doesn't it make sense?

WE are invaders too, in a sense.

115 of us, altogether, came here to study with the homestudents, who have been together since 3 years ago, and probably have formed tight friendships with each other.

then we come and ruin everything.

We invade their lecture halls, making it cramped and difficult to find a nice spot.

We invade their labs and libraries, reducing the number of books available for them to borrow.

We invade their cafes and canteens, eating their food and sitting in their places.

In a way, I wouldn't be surprised if they felt the same way as the good people in Grey's. We were the invaders in the first place.

Of course I understand that the episode was stating that in a somewhat immature way, but you cannot say it doesn't make sense. If a whole 100+ bunch of students suddenly came to study with us in IMU out of the blue, we wouldn't exactly embrace them, lock stock and barrel. We would also feel that our space was invaded, to a certain extent.

But then again, to the homestudents' credit, they have been nothing but friendly towards us.

My buddy has been most warm and welcoming towards me, and for that, I'm grateful.

I didn't go to the pub crawl, but what I heard, there was much mingling and it was great between us and them.

Then again, I probably shouldn't think in terms of 'us and them', right.

of movies and ramblings, and edinburgh

So I was watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile yesterday night.

I know I know. It's a little too late for a review of a movie that came out years ago, but still...

Well. For those who didn't watch the show, it's basically about this female art lecturer who had really avant-garde ideas about feminism and female rights and stuff, who wanted to make a difference in the lives of her female students. But her efforts were constantly thwarted by them, her peers, and the general society during that time.

Oh, and the movie was set in the 50-s.

What the movie was trying to say was that in those days, women belonged to their husbands and their families, and their right place was in their homes and nowhere else. Which, of course, is not true nowadays, but only to a certain extent.

It got me thinking.

How modern are we actually? When it comes to matters like this. We say females have as much capability as males (perhaps even more?) and we should be entitled to the same things as our male counterparts.

But,

Why do parents always shush their sons when they cry, and not their daughters? Kids feel pain as much as one another, so why is it that people find crying boys embarrassing?

Why does it always have to be the guy who asks the girl out on a date? And pay for it? (at least on the first few ones?) If both parties are earning wages, shouldn't it be fair for both to pay their own?

Why is it always that girls are the ones to worry about 'not getting married off' at a certain age? And the guys don't? (well, at least not till they're 60 or so....)

Why is it that the female always has to be the one to give up her job once she has a baby? The baby came from both parents so why shouldn't it be the responsibility of both?

Why is it that the female always has to take care of the household chores, even when she has a regular 9-5 job? And all the husband does after coming back from work is to ask 'honey, where's dinner?'

Why is it that the general public sees middle aged unmarried females as 'failures'? As if not getting married after a certain age deems them 'leftover goods'? (don't laugh, I've heard many people say this about those unlucky girls!...behind their backs of course). And guys get more and more berharga as they grow older in the marriage market?

Why is it that females holding a high position in a company will be termed a bitch if she's too aggressive, and males who do that are said to be 'assertive'?

Why is it that males have porn magazines and websites with naked females, and we girls don't have magazines and websites of naked men?

Why is it that a handful of masochistic males nowadays can still say that rape victims 'asked for it' because they were dressed too skimpily? To say in front of everyone that their political counterparts will 'leak' every month? To say that if the rape victim can't get herself free of her rapist, to 'just let go and enjoy it'?

Why? Why?

I could go on and on. But you get the idea.

+:+:+:+:+:+

Moving on to prettier topics.

The housemates and I went to Edinburgh over the weekend!

autumn's here!

it was a wet day in Edinburgh

us in front of Edinburgh castle. I love my new coat! =)

the view which officially inspired Harry Potter...

...and the lucky cafe in which Rowling happened to be lunching in when the Eureka! moment struck.

And that's all for now!

Till then.

xoxo

a little something

1. Mood:

More towards crappy. cramps in my stomach making me tired and grumpy. Where did all that exercising go? I thought it was supposed to help with cramps. shoot.

2. List three things currently inspiring you.

Nothing in particular. Does a steaming hot cup of ginger tea count?

3. Doing what now?

Listening to jazzy music and trying to figure out our thromboembolic workshop.

4. Gladiator sandals?

I'm alright with them. Though I'm starting to think boots are the coolest shoes invented ever. =)

5. Lips and cheeks:

I haven't been using much lipstick, usually it's a slick of my Loccitane lipbalm and I'm good to go. Currently using No7's mineral blusher in soft damson.

6. What’s one quality you like about yourself?

Being neat and tidy.

7. Fragrance?

Victoria Beckham's Intimately Beckham.

8. Name three ways you’ve changed in the last 10 years.

10 years before I was..13. Form 1. Apart from about gaining a shitload of textbook knowlegde over the years, I suppose I have become more independent, and care less about what people think of me.

9. Outfit?

Since I'm in my room now, it would be a sporty long sleeve top and knee length pants, and fluffy bedroom slippers.

10. Weekly goals:

To at least get a start on my introduction for my research paper! There's only so long a girl can procrastinate.

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

And autumn's here!

Apart from the fact that leaves are turning shades of yellow and red, cold glasgow just became even colder.

I woke up at 9am yesterday and there it was, on my laptop weather widget: 0 degrees!

But it wasn't as bad as I thought. Even without the heater on and only wearing a normal t-shirt, I felt perfectly comfortable. Or perhaps our hostel buildings have very good inbuilt heat-retaining properties.

Sometimes I think that this world is so much kinder to beautiful people.

Life is so much easier if you're beautiful. You get the largest piece of cake, people actually stop to listen to you when you talk, and complete strangers will be nicer to you. You get to choose other equally beautiful people to be your spouse, and your children will also be beautiful. You get promotions at work more often, and most probably you will end up with an easy workload than others.

No? You disagree?

Well. Guys, do you dare to say that if given a gorgeous model and a plain ugly (fat, thrown in for good measure) girl needed your help, which would you be more inclined to help?

Girls, if a gorgeous, tall, hunky guy and a slight, plain guy with acne asked you for your number, which would you be more happy to give it to?

See, we're all shallow after all. Just that we don't admit it.

That's why plain people have to work twice as hard as beautiful ones to get to the same place.

It's a fact. Sad but true.

That's why makeup companies and slimming centres will always be in business.

Just thinking. =)

Oh and if you feel like doing the meme on top, feel free to copy and paste the questions and put in your own answers. It's good for a filler post when you have nothing else to say. =)

xoxo

fate (or not!)

Sorry I didn’t keep my part of the promise. Rome and the rest of Italy seems so far away now, I just can’t seem to find the mood (and time) to tell you about it. Once semester starts, the holidays just fall to the back of my mind. Ah well, probably those pictures and stories will see the light of the day, someday, when I have nothing better to blog about.

So.

I was chit-chatting over dinner with a few girlfriends.

And somehow our conversation turned into a debate of which was more important in a relationship: fate, or making it happen.

It’s like this.

Which do you believe in?

a. Successful relationships were meant to be. Fate decides everything.

b. Successful relationships are a result of our own efforts.

And I was the one supporting the second theory.

I do not deny that we need fate to intercede in order for people to meet, and perhaps like each other.

Why would we be great friends with someone and so-so with others?

This is because we were fated to be.

Actually fate doesn’t really explain it all. 缘分(yuan fen, or yuan) would be more accurate.

We become close to some people, fall in love with a few, and hate the rest, all because of yuan.

In short, yuan determines what goes on in our lives.

If we fall in love with someone and become a couple, then it’s because we have a lot of yuan.

If we like someone but didn’t progress that far, we blame it on having too little yuan.

If we hate someone just simply because, we say it’s bad yuan.

But is it right to leave everything to fate?

I don’t think so.

In my world, good things came to me because I actually made the effort to achieve them. Not by waiting around and blaming the lack of yuan when I don’t get what I want.

In short, I fully believe that ‘what you reap is what you sow’.

Of course I understand that there are no fixed rules when it comes to relationships. I understand that even if you love someone doesn’t mean that someone will love you back.

But then again, if you didn’t even make it known that you love that someone (ie court her/him lah!), how are you going to blame it on fate when others don’t even know that you fancy them?

Yes, I agree that it takes a certain amount of fate for people to meet, and for sparks to fly.

But if nothing more happens after that, then the fate doesn’t amount to anything now does it?

It is so much better to love and live, than not loving at all.

Even if it might hurt lots and then some, it would have been worth it.

I would rather have plunged right in and did something from my heart, than NOT to do it and regret after that.

I do not like to have ‘what if-s’ in my life.

What if I had gone on that date with him?

What if I had called him after the date instead of waiting for him to call? (what if he never did call?)

What if I had initiated the second date instead of waiting for him to do it?

What if I had told him I fancied him instead of waiting for him to do it?

What if?....

See, that’s my point.

We never know what’s going to happen the next step.

We are human after all, not God.

So why not live in exuberance instead of tiptoeing through life?

Of course, I am not saying that we plunge through life without thinking.

Obviously if something (or someone) was a bad idea, a little logical thinking would tell me that NOT going ahead is the better choice.

But if your head and heart says YES! why not just go ahead? rather than crack your head and think, oh long distance relationships are no good la, he’s not rich enough la, he’s not funny enough la, he doesn’t take out the trash la, etc.

Anyways, I digress.

My point is,

It is simply not enough to sit around and wait for someone to come across you, sitting there oh so demurely.

Rather, we should go out there, and take our pick from the mix! Throw out the good girl and snag a fab guy, and we shall see who gets the last laugh!

xoxo

p/s: actually I admit I’m somewhat a mix in between those two types. I sit at home all the time yet I still believe I should ‘make it happen’. So please do not laugh back at me when I eat my own words some time in the (near?) future. ha!

p/p/s: no, there is no guy on the horizon right now, unfortunately. this post was simply inspired by our after-dinner conversation, period.

part 2 - still paris

It's amazing how movies can transform your views and image of a place.

I have just finished Angels and Demons (the movie). I read the book a long time ago so I couldn't really remember the exact details in it, but watching the movie AFTER visiting Rome and the Vatican city is totally a different experience altogether. I can never look at St Peter's square and the churches in the same light again.

Come to think of it, I should have watched it before going, but oh well...

And now I kind of understand why she loved the Fontana so much after 冲上云宵. You know who you are, ha!

Part 2 - still Paris!

Had my first taste of foie gras at Pub 38 Eiffel. This was actually foie gras with baked egg, and It. Is. So. Good! The liver had a slightlly musky tang to it, and the combination with baked egg was perfecto. But bear in mind that foie gras does not appeal to everyone.

the bill in a tin.

We visited the Père-Lachaise Cemetery on our third day in Paris, much to the chagrin of the guys in our group (or so I think). It hosted the graveyards of a medley of different famous people, but the one I wanted to see the most was that of Chopin.

But unfortunately we made a very costly mistake at the entrance.
We decided not to buy the map of the cemetery for the sake of being economical.
And?
We ended up in a wild goose chase around the cemetery, and failing miserably.
(and bringing our entire poor group members along..)
We had grossly underestimated the size of the graveyard, and the sheer number of graves in it.
In the end, we left the cemetery with painful feet (from all the pounding on the uneven pavement), aching legs, and not a sight of even ONE measly 'famous' grave.

one of the many angmohs who adores sunshine, unlike us poor asians

I had my first taste of macarons from a shop named Herve (I think), which apparently has won awards for its macarons. And it was really good! I wanted to get some from Laduree but..ah well. I just couldn't bring myself to pay 4 euros (RM20) for a single macaron which I probably could finish in 4 or 5 bites.

a lady with a hat musing on her own on the bench.....not! look carefully. it's actually a bronze figure!

Paris is said to be the city of romance. Well, I don't seem to see the romantic-ness about it. Glasgow is much more romantic to me. Paris is busy and noisy, and the streets are dirty (well, at least when compared to glasgow). That doesn't seem too romantic does it? The only thing romantic about the city is the people. They hug and kiss everywhere!


4th day is Disneyland day!
I am really not the best person to write about Disneyland day. I am not a child at heart after all.
Sin wee, would you like to be my guest blogger for the day?

my happy housemates. the one on the right is happier.

some random cute little girl who was dressed for the occasion

waiting in line for our first ride: Snow white!

side profile of Donald duck's I-forgot-her-name girlfriend.

that looks like some ancient 格格 punya headpiece from far

car stunts. it was AMAZING

ciplak HSM. I want Zac Efron!

I went to Disneyland and observed with a very logical heart and mind, and I got this conclusion.
Walt Disney is one helluva guy.
Did you know that Disney came very close to not existing in this world?
It is a perfect example of a blue ocean strategy.
The idea is novel, there was nothing like it, and there will be nothing quite like it in the future.
There is simply no comparison.
Even if there were to be another company producing cartoons and doing exactly what Disney does, it will never be quite like it.
Can you imagine a world without Disney?
I certainly can't.

Last day in Paris was off to Chateau de Versailles.

We paid 15 euros to enter the palace, but it was totally worth every penny.
As a matter of fact it is somewhat a cross between a museum and a palace. It was indeed a palace until the French revolution and the royal family ran away or something. I cannot remember the exact facts. Go wikipedia if you want more...



Next stop: Rome!

part 1 - paris

And I'm back!

Really, I am afraid of updating everything after a really long holiday. The last 2 times I did (Hong Kong and KK trips) I ended up with a headache and giddiness, thanks to staring at my computer for so LONG a time. And lets not forget that I like to make collages out of my holiday photos. Now that really takes up a lot of energy!

I kept a little diary throughout those 17 days. it wasn't so much a diary of events; rather I think it was more of a memoir of my thoughts and feelings.

Am feeling a little lazy, so I'm going to keep this short.


+:+:+:+:+

Paris

We kind of lost our way the night we arrived in paris, and couldn't find our hotel. There were these two young parisian ladies who were SO helpful, they pored over the map with us and even called up the hotel itself to ask for directions, using their own cellphones!

Our hotel Andre Gill was actually quite nice. They served the same breakfast every morning (croissants and a hard bread, and coffee or tea), had 2 proud-looking cats, and a funny and helpful counter staff person. A few steps down the road and it was heaven for guys: the red-light district, ha! Moulin rounge was further down but we didn't go. Show me the money, man!

The first thing we did the next morning was to rush over to the Louvre as it was free admission day, which happens every first sunday of the month. I was slightly disappointed by the Mona Lisa painting. I did not understand the hype about it; I simply did not understand it. I am not an art student after all. Furthermore it was put behind a glass screen, and that decreased its magic somewhat.

The famous painting, blurred by my camera zoom....

...which we managed to get to the very front after battling the crowd.

Altogether now guys, stare down at your, erm...instruments?

doing the karen cheng using the powder table of a famous person...I think it was one of the French kings.

posing like him...not!

I find this kind of disturbing. How they managed to pose that way for the artist, is really beyond me.

Then, we went to the Orsay museum, for free again. Yay!

This painting is on my Chopin music scorebook which I used for 5 years+.

And then, Eiffel tower!



...and someone yelled in delight when she saw this, hehehe.

Then,

...both which I covet, but cannot afford. le sigh.

Diary musings excerpts:

• We are all independent, yet interdependent too. There is no such thing as minding our own business. Others' business are also our business.
• Had my first taste of foie gras! It is SO good. The liver had a slightly musky tang to it, and the combination with baked egg was perfect.
• I like my new Loccitane Cherry blossom fragrance!

To be continued...


xoxo

see you in 2.5 weeks' time!

And that's because I'll be leaving for Paris + Italy today at noon.

I think I've grown to be fairly blase about going on trips abroad.
Perhaps I've been to too many places that left me somewhat..disappointed.

I still remember I used to be SO excited when I went on trips with my parents when I was young.
I'd literally squeal and jump for joy the day before leaving, and I'd be too excited to sleep.
And I used to be so amazed by everything I saw.
Even the ice cream in foreign lands seemed loads better than homegrown ones.
(but to their credit, New Zealand DOES produce really good ice cream. Must be their milk I think.)

I used to be so excited about how my photos would turn out, how I would look in them, and whether people thought our photos were nice.
I used to insist on bringing back a bunch of souvenirs from every place I visited.
And I used to have so much fun reminiscing about my trip long after I returned.

But I'm not like that anymore.
Perhaps I've grown out of the excitement of going on holidays.
Or perhaps I've just grown up.

Now, I feel the most important thing about holidays abroad, is the feel itself.
I want to cherish every moment, every thing, and every person I see.
I want to immerse myself in the locals' life.
I want the feel of the place I'm visiting to permeate every cell of my body.

I remember when I first arrived in Glasgow, I like to imagine myself as Elizabeth Bennet or Jane Eyre in the midst of the medieval styled buildings Glasgow is famous for.
I like to imagine how life would be like for those who lived in Pollock House, how the servants would bustle around serving the ladies and gentlemen, how the ladies would walk, hand in hand, around the grounds of the garden, how they'd laugh gently at each other's jokes.

I'm not really interested in how many pictures I take.
Rather, I want each and every picture I take to be a remembrance of a memory I had in that place, at that time.
I want to write down my thoughts when I come across interestings things.
I want to eat as the locals do, and taste every morsel with my tongue and let the delight wash over me, and lodges in a part of my brain, never to be forgotten.

I want to experience a place my way.
And that, to me, is what really matters.


So, as they would say,
Let the fun begin! =)

xoxo

missing home.

Exams are finally over.
But I cannot bring myself to be in the 'holiday mode'.
I can't help but think about my exams. And their outcome.
I want to pass my exams.
I just want to PASS.
Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I feel I have lowered my expectations way too low.
But if doing my best is not even enough to give me a pass....
I just want to pass.
Pretty please?


I woke up this morning.
Listened to a few emo-ish songs.
And started crying.
Because the songs made me think of home.
I miss home.
I miss my parents.
I miss the feeling of being on home soil.
I am getting tired of being a foreigner, here.


We went to Lung Fung for dinner tonight.
Ate a lot of chinese food.
Sang a lot of chinese songs.
(actually 'a lot' in this case is somewhat an underestimation!)
And for those 5 hours we were in our private room, I felt like I was back in Malaysia.
No blonde hair, no blue eyes, no haggis, no scottish english.
Just us one big bunch of friends, the food we were so familiar with, and the songs we used to love so much.
And in that 5 hours, I felt....normal. Again.
And I really, really liked that.


I never thought being 'home' would mean so much to me.
But now, I just want to be home.



p/s: if you were wondering, the picture above is a view of my desk. Neat and tidy and just the way I want it to be.

WWHAM

Who? Me.
What are the symptoms? Nausea and vomiting, tachycardia, headaches.
How long? Since a week ago.
Action taken? Rubbed hong yiu on my temples and drank ginger tea.
Medicines? Paracetamol.

Diagnosis?
Semester 6 FMT1 and FMT2 finals.
(and perhaps PP3 feedback next tuesday.)

Professional decision making: Do not give any medicines to patient, symptoms will subside on wednesday.

^-^