fate (or not!)

Sorry I didn’t keep my part of the promise. Rome and the rest of Italy seems so far away now, I just can’t seem to find the mood (and time) to tell you about it. Once semester starts, the holidays just fall to the back of my mind. Ah well, probably those pictures and stories will see the light of the day, someday, when I have nothing better to blog about.

So.

I was chit-chatting over dinner with a few girlfriends.

And somehow our conversation turned into a debate of which was more important in a relationship: fate, or making it happen.

It’s like this.

Which do you believe in?

a. Successful relationships were meant to be. Fate decides everything.

b. Successful relationships are a result of our own efforts.

And I was the one supporting the second theory.

I do not deny that we need fate to intercede in order for people to meet, and perhaps like each other.

Why would we be great friends with someone and so-so with others?

This is because we were fated to be.

Actually fate doesn’t really explain it all. 缘分(yuan fen, or yuan) would be more accurate.

We become close to some people, fall in love with a few, and hate the rest, all because of yuan.

In short, yuan determines what goes on in our lives.

If we fall in love with someone and become a couple, then it’s because we have a lot of yuan.

If we like someone but didn’t progress that far, we blame it on having too little yuan.

If we hate someone just simply because, we say it’s bad yuan.

But is it right to leave everything to fate?

I don’t think so.

In my world, good things came to me because I actually made the effort to achieve them. Not by waiting around and blaming the lack of yuan when I don’t get what I want.

In short, I fully believe that ‘what you reap is what you sow’.

Of course I understand that there are no fixed rules when it comes to relationships. I understand that even if you love someone doesn’t mean that someone will love you back.

But then again, if you didn’t even make it known that you love that someone (ie court her/him lah!), how are you going to blame it on fate when others don’t even know that you fancy them?

Yes, I agree that it takes a certain amount of fate for people to meet, and for sparks to fly.

But if nothing more happens after that, then the fate doesn’t amount to anything now does it?

It is so much better to love and live, than not loving at all.

Even if it might hurt lots and then some, it would have been worth it.

I would rather have plunged right in and did something from my heart, than NOT to do it and regret after that.

I do not like to have ‘what if-s’ in my life.

What if I had gone on that date with him?

What if I had called him after the date instead of waiting for him to call? (what if he never did call?)

What if I had initiated the second date instead of waiting for him to do it?

What if I had told him I fancied him instead of waiting for him to do it?

What if?....

See, that’s my point.

We never know what’s going to happen the next step.

We are human after all, not God.

So why not live in exuberance instead of tiptoeing through life?

Of course, I am not saying that we plunge through life without thinking.

Obviously if something (or someone) was a bad idea, a little logical thinking would tell me that NOT going ahead is the better choice.

But if your head and heart says YES! why not just go ahead? rather than crack your head and think, oh long distance relationships are no good la, he’s not rich enough la, he’s not funny enough la, he doesn’t take out the trash la, etc.

Anyways, I digress.

My point is,

It is simply not enough to sit around and wait for someone to come across you, sitting there oh so demurely.

Rather, we should go out there, and take our pick from the mix! Throw out the good girl and snag a fab guy, and we shall see who gets the last laugh!

xoxo

p/s: actually I admit I’m somewhat a mix in between those two types. I sit at home all the time yet I still believe I should ‘make it happen’. So please do not laugh back at me when I eat my own words some time in the (near?) future. ha!

p/p/s: no, there is no guy on the horizon right now, unfortunately. this post was simply inspired by our after-dinner conversation, period.

part 2 - still paris

It's amazing how movies can transform your views and image of a place.

I have just finished Angels and Demons (the movie). I read the book a long time ago so I couldn't really remember the exact details in it, but watching the movie AFTER visiting Rome and the Vatican city is totally a different experience altogether. I can never look at St Peter's square and the churches in the same light again.

Come to think of it, I should have watched it before going, but oh well...

And now I kind of understand why she loved the Fontana so much after 冲上云宵. You know who you are, ha!

Part 2 - still Paris!

Had my first taste of foie gras at Pub 38 Eiffel. This was actually foie gras with baked egg, and It. Is. So. Good! The liver had a slightlly musky tang to it, and the combination with baked egg was perfecto. But bear in mind that foie gras does not appeal to everyone.

the bill in a tin.

We visited the Père-Lachaise Cemetery on our third day in Paris, much to the chagrin of the guys in our group (or so I think). It hosted the graveyards of a medley of different famous people, but the one I wanted to see the most was that of Chopin.

But unfortunately we made a very costly mistake at the entrance.
We decided not to buy the map of the cemetery for the sake of being economical.
And?
We ended up in a wild goose chase around the cemetery, and failing miserably.
(and bringing our entire poor group members along..)
We had grossly underestimated the size of the graveyard, and the sheer number of graves in it.
In the end, we left the cemetery with painful feet (from all the pounding on the uneven pavement), aching legs, and not a sight of even ONE measly 'famous' grave.

one of the many angmohs who adores sunshine, unlike us poor asians

I had my first taste of macarons from a shop named Herve (I think), which apparently has won awards for its macarons. And it was really good! I wanted to get some from Laduree but..ah well. I just couldn't bring myself to pay 4 euros (RM20) for a single macaron which I probably could finish in 4 or 5 bites.

a lady with a hat musing on her own on the bench.....not! look carefully. it's actually a bronze figure!

Paris is said to be the city of romance. Well, I don't seem to see the romantic-ness about it. Glasgow is much more romantic to me. Paris is busy and noisy, and the streets are dirty (well, at least when compared to glasgow). That doesn't seem too romantic does it? The only thing romantic about the city is the people. They hug and kiss everywhere!


4th day is Disneyland day!
I am really not the best person to write about Disneyland day. I am not a child at heart after all.
Sin wee, would you like to be my guest blogger for the day?

my happy housemates. the one on the right is happier.

some random cute little girl who was dressed for the occasion

waiting in line for our first ride: Snow white!

side profile of Donald duck's I-forgot-her-name girlfriend.

that looks like some ancient 格格 punya headpiece from far

car stunts. it was AMAZING

ciplak HSM. I want Zac Efron!

I went to Disneyland and observed with a very logical heart and mind, and I got this conclusion.
Walt Disney is one helluva guy.
Did you know that Disney came very close to not existing in this world?
It is a perfect example of a blue ocean strategy.
The idea is novel, there was nothing like it, and there will be nothing quite like it in the future.
There is simply no comparison.
Even if there were to be another company producing cartoons and doing exactly what Disney does, it will never be quite like it.
Can you imagine a world without Disney?
I certainly can't.

Last day in Paris was off to Chateau de Versailles.

We paid 15 euros to enter the palace, but it was totally worth every penny.
As a matter of fact it is somewhat a cross between a museum and a palace. It was indeed a palace until the French revolution and the royal family ran away or something. I cannot remember the exact facts. Go wikipedia if you want more...



Next stop: Rome!

part 1 - paris

And I'm back!

Really, I am afraid of updating everything after a really long holiday. The last 2 times I did (Hong Kong and KK trips) I ended up with a headache and giddiness, thanks to staring at my computer for so LONG a time. And lets not forget that I like to make collages out of my holiday photos. Now that really takes up a lot of energy!

I kept a little diary throughout those 17 days. it wasn't so much a diary of events; rather I think it was more of a memoir of my thoughts and feelings.

Am feeling a little lazy, so I'm going to keep this short.


+:+:+:+:+

Paris

We kind of lost our way the night we arrived in paris, and couldn't find our hotel. There were these two young parisian ladies who were SO helpful, they pored over the map with us and even called up the hotel itself to ask for directions, using their own cellphones!

Our hotel Andre Gill was actually quite nice. They served the same breakfast every morning (croissants and a hard bread, and coffee or tea), had 2 proud-looking cats, and a funny and helpful counter staff person. A few steps down the road and it was heaven for guys: the red-light district, ha! Moulin rounge was further down but we didn't go. Show me the money, man!

The first thing we did the next morning was to rush over to the Louvre as it was free admission day, which happens every first sunday of the month. I was slightly disappointed by the Mona Lisa painting. I did not understand the hype about it; I simply did not understand it. I am not an art student after all. Furthermore it was put behind a glass screen, and that decreased its magic somewhat.

The famous painting, blurred by my camera zoom....

...which we managed to get to the very front after battling the crowd.

Altogether now guys, stare down at your, erm...instruments?

doing the karen cheng using the powder table of a famous person...I think it was one of the French kings.

posing like him...not!

I find this kind of disturbing. How they managed to pose that way for the artist, is really beyond me.

Then, we went to the Orsay museum, for free again. Yay!

This painting is on my Chopin music scorebook which I used for 5 years+.

And then, Eiffel tower!



...and someone yelled in delight when she saw this, hehehe.

Then,

...both which I covet, but cannot afford. le sigh.

Diary musings excerpts:

• We are all independent, yet interdependent too. There is no such thing as minding our own business. Others' business are also our business.
• Had my first taste of foie gras! It is SO good. The liver had a slightly musky tang to it, and the combination with baked egg was perfect.
• I like my new Loccitane Cherry blossom fragrance!

To be continued...


xoxo

see you in 2.5 weeks' time!

And that's because I'll be leaving for Paris + Italy today at noon.

I think I've grown to be fairly blase about going on trips abroad.
Perhaps I've been to too many places that left me somewhat..disappointed.

I still remember I used to be SO excited when I went on trips with my parents when I was young.
I'd literally squeal and jump for joy the day before leaving, and I'd be too excited to sleep.
And I used to be so amazed by everything I saw.
Even the ice cream in foreign lands seemed loads better than homegrown ones.
(but to their credit, New Zealand DOES produce really good ice cream. Must be their milk I think.)

I used to be so excited about how my photos would turn out, how I would look in them, and whether people thought our photos were nice.
I used to insist on bringing back a bunch of souvenirs from every place I visited.
And I used to have so much fun reminiscing about my trip long after I returned.

But I'm not like that anymore.
Perhaps I've grown out of the excitement of going on holidays.
Or perhaps I've just grown up.

Now, I feel the most important thing about holidays abroad, is the feel itself.
I want to cherish every moment, every thing, and every person I see.
I want to immerse myself in the locals' life.
I want the feel of the place I'm visiting to permeate every cell of my body.

I remember when I first arrived in Glasgow, I like to imagine myself as Elizabeth Bennet or Jane Eyre in the midst of the medieval styled buildings Glasgow is famous for.
I like to imagine how life would be like for those who lived in Pollock House, how the servants would bustle around serving the ladies and gentlemen, how the ladies would walk, hand in hand, around the grounds of the garden, how they'd laugh gently at each other's jokes.

I'm not really interested in how many pictures I take.
Rather, I want each and every picture I take to be a remembrance of a memory I had in that place, at that time.
I want to write down my thoughts when I come across interestings things.
I want to eat as the locals do, and taste every morsel with my tongue and let the delight wash over me, and lodges in a part of my brain, never to be forgotten.

I want to experience a place my way.
And that, to me, is what really matters.


So, as they would say,
Let the fun begin! =)

xoxo

missing home.

Exams are finally over.
But I cannot bring myself to be in the 'holiday mode'.
I can't help but think about my exams. And their outcome.
I want to pass my exams.
I just want to PASS.
Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I feel I have lowered my expectations way too low.
But if doing my best is not even enough to give me a pass....
I just want to pass.
Pretty please?


I woke up this morning.
Listened to a few emo-ish songs.
And started crying.
Because the songs made me think of home.
I miss home.
I miss my parents.
I miss the feeling of being on home soil.
I am getting tired of being a foreigner, here.


We went to Lung Fung for dinner tonight.
Ate a lot of chinese food.
Sang a lot of chinese songs.
(actually 'a lot' in this case is somewhat an underestimation!)
And for those 5 hours we were in our private room, I felt like I was back in Malaysia.
No blonde hair, no blue eyes, no haggis, no scottish english.
Just us one big bunch of friends, the food we were so familiar with, and the songs we used to love so much.
And in that 5 hours, I felt....normal. Again.
And I really, really liked that.


I never thought being 'home' would mean so much to me.
But now, I just want to be home.



p/s: if you were wondering, the picture above is a view of my desk. Neat and tidy and just the way I want it to be.

WWHAM

Who? Me.
What are the symptoms? Nausea and vomiting, tachycardia, headaches.
How long? Since a week ago.
Action taken? Rubbed hong yiu on my temples and drank ginger tea.
Medicines? Paracetamol.

Diagnosis?
Semester 6 FMT1 and FMT2 finals.
(and perhaps PP3 feedback next tuesday.)

Professional decision making: Do not give any medicines to patient, symptoms will subside on wednesday.

^-^

because I have a duty to assure my readers that I'm still alive.

Yes, I know I've been very silent these days.
No, I haven't been abducted by aliens or kidnapped.

I just have been using my brain a lot more than usual.

And by a lot, I really mean A LOT.

Well, I (or rather, the whole of P107) have been rushing lab reports, preparing for FMT1 and PP3 tests, and getting a whole lot of pimples along the way.

FMT test was...okay I think.

PP3 was okay too.......I think? *thinks a little harder*
I mean, I did all that I was supposed to do, and as far as I can see I have not killed any pseudo patients of mine. Yet.
So hopefully this time I'll have a positive mark on my paper.

How pathetic right.
The first time I told my parents this, they were like, "Um, you mean you hope you'll pass, right?"
Then I go, "No, I mean I hope I'll get positive marks. Like, the opposite of negative?"
Talk about lowering my standards!

And the other reason I haven't have had much to say recently is because...well, there really isn't a lot to say, actually.
Life's been uniform, but not unhappy. I've been keeping busy and that's good.


+:+:+:+:+

I've been thinking about this lately.

Is it right to base our opinions of someone, purely on others' opinions of that person?
I mean, what they say might (or might not) be true of that person.
So should we decide what sort of a person he/she is, based on those second-hand facts?

Like, if people around you tell you that this person (let's call him Jim) likes to borrow money without paying them back.
So do you believe them, and decline to lend Jim any money because of that?
Or if you choose not to believe people and you want to see the truth for yourself. Then you lend Jim some money. What is he pays you back promptly? Does that mean all those people were liars?

That's why I have always been very careful not to label any person or tell any tales. Though some of them may be true, I always prefer to talk good about everyone. And if that person is really a bad person, I suppose others would find it out in good time.

You may say, oh I should warn other people about this person's faults so they won't be taken in, but then again who am I to decide who is a good person and who's the bad guy?
I mean, no one's 100% good or bad, are they?
Much as we like to put everything, including people, in neat little boxes labelled black or white, very often that is not the case in real life. All of us are in the same box, the same grey box, aren't we?


Till the next time I have spare time on my hands (and that may be in a loooong time),

xoxo

ahh.

So yesterday evening a very kind soul brought us out for tapas and paella. A fantassimmo dinner we had there!

(btw, this is the same very kind soul who cooked lunch for us today. muahaha.)

Anyways, as we were walking back in the semi-dark glasgow night.
We stopped at George Square.
And I was staring at the Glasgow City Chambers, lit up brilliantly against the backdrop of a cool glaswegian evening.

And it struck me.

All this while, I have been quite blase about coming to study in Scotland.
To me, it didn't feel much different from home, except for the weather.
It was like studying in a cold KL to me.

But as I gawked at the buildings yesterday night, it hit me.

I'm in Glasgow!

This is scottish soil I'm stepping on.

And, it was like, a million lightbulbs suddenly lit up in my mind.
I'm here!
I'm studying in UK!
I'm living THE dream of many.


It's difficult to explain exactly what I felt yesterday, at that Eureka! moment.

I guess the feeling of stepping on foreign soil is particularly intense when I'm on 'holiday' mode.
But not in 'study' mode.

I'll have to learn to appreciate my time here more.
In time, I'll learn to love Glasgow.
I hope. =)

maid horror

By the time this post comes out, many of my friends would probably have heard the story of my fantastic maid (hear my sarcasm dripping?). But I'll tell it here anyway, people out there need to know!

Well.
It started with my parents bringing home RM10,000 from the bank.
(If you're wondering, the money is now safely in the bank again. No need to go rob my house.)
The very next morning, they took the money out and only RM8000 was left.
Takan RM2000 disappeared overnight?!
Since the only people left in my home are my parents and our maid of 8 years, the obvious culprit would seem like the latter.
So my parents confronted her. She denied.
Then they went to her room and searched. No money found.
Then they contacted the maid agency. An agent was dispatched to our house to search again.
Guess what?

The agent found RM4000 in my maid's baju sembahyang.

And,
That's not all!

She also found a knife hidden under my maid's mattress in her room!

It was the very same knife we thought had 'hilang' some time ago.

After that, the maid confessed that she had duplicated the key to our drawer, which we usually put our cash in. How she managed to do it is still a mystery to us.
(p/s: obviously now the drawer is no longer used for that purpose. Who knows how many copies of the keys were made by her?!)

Considering the fact that we have had her for about 8 years, I really don't know how much money exactly was filched from us over the years. I don't even dare to think about it. And this RM4000 was stolen from us in the 2 weeks she returned from her hometown in Surabaya. Only god knows how much she must have 'transported' home.

The sad thing about this whole game is that, our maid is actually quite a good one. She has singlehandedly run our household for the past 8 years, doing everything that needs to be done in our house. Although sometimes she will be a little lazy, for most of the time she is indispensable in our house.

Ah well. Thank goodness I had the good luck to be in scotland when the drama unfolded.

Now the difficult issue is to get another maid (or not!).
You see, my grandma is staying with us. And she wants a maid to keep her company when we're not at home. She's always paranoid that she'll fall down or have a heart attack or something when she's alone and no one would be around to help her.
But apparently Indonesian maids are now not allowed into malaysia now, according to some new ruling in our country.
So I don't know what's gonna happen now.
I can only hope for the best.


+:+:+:+:+:+


Life is SUPER BUSY oh my god!

Sometimes I feel like an express bus which had to run back and forth from Singapore to Perlis continuously for the past 2 weeks and hadn't had time to rest at all.

There is no time to cram all the information we've learnt into our brains, and before we know it, there's more new information to be learnt!

*prays hard that I'll be exempted from PP3*



Till my first PP3 class test,

xoxo

Dose of glasgow is safe, appropriate and effective

Ahhh.
The green green grass of glasgow!

The weather is beautiful, the people nice, and you won't believe how amazingly gorgeous the guys here are.

Scotland is already working its magic on me.

Of course, my skin is peeling like a papery onion, and the conversion rate is sky-high, and finding cheap food is a little difficult when you're spending pounds on a ringgit income.

But I still love it.

It's my 6th day here, and I'm still happy. =)



Okay, so my hostel room is super tiny and my bed is facing the bedroom door directly, which is supposed to be a no-no in fengshui. But since there's nothing I can do about it, I'll just have to live with it I guess. Or perhaps fengshui doesn't apply here. But the room is cosy, and everything is working nicely.

I'm still not missing home....yet.

I love the fact that I can go out a whole day in the sun and not sweat!

I love my Lebara number. Free calls, woohoo!

I love the lecturers here. Well, some of them, at least.

I love the buildings here. It's like they've come right out of an Austen book!

I love putting on a sweet-smelling moisturiser and not feel icky or sticky after that.

I love the FAST internet!



And I don't really have much more to say.

So, till next time!

xoxo